My, my, my. Would you lookie here. Seems things just got mighty fresh up in this crazy madhouse. I’ve just been Freshly Pressed for the first time. Let’s hope it goes a little better than another first time of mine that ended up with a lot of crying and a swift slap to the face. SMACK! You pig! How was I supposed to know that girls don’t like it when a person makes oinking noises just as the mood starts to turn romantic? I was only trying to keep things loose and fun.
My, my, my. Freshly Pressed. Pretty stinking fresh all right.
I was told to dust off the welcome mat and be prepared for a lot of new readers. I just started working on a new TV pilot and it’s been kicking my ass. 70 hours of work in the past 5 days. My apologies, but I didn’t have a whole lot of time to prepare. I’ve barely had time to eat or to sleep, but of course I did make time for a few tall glasses of whiskey last night. I got rip roaring drunk with my former room mate, and we had a grand, old time from the parts of the evening that I can remember. It made for a very fun 14 hours of work today. And that is why I’m the dimmest of all the dimwits. A real, genuine, dingaling ding dong to the max. Better get used to it.
For you newbies, I’d advise you to read the post I just did called “Chris Hinton’s Pathway To Success.” It’s as good a place to start as any. If you make it through that one, well, then you’re just the sorta company we like to keep around here. Crazy and mad and fun, and plenty of oinking noises to go around for everyone. SMACK! It’s a real nice crew of diverse folks, and I think you’ll all get along just fine if you choose to stick around.
Welp, you dimwits. I’m tired and I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow. I was just gonna leave it at thank you, but as is the case with me, a simple thank you is never quite enough to show my appreciation.
Freshly Pressed is recycling an old post, so thought I’d go ahead and do some recycling of my own. So how’s about an old photo of me wearing a sleeveless fur sweater that I bought from the women’s section of the thrift store, showing off the chest hairs a little bit for a sexy, fresh photo shoot I did for a Brut by Fabergé men’s cologne ad. It’s autographed for you and everything, so feel free to pin it to your fridge or hang it in your cubicle at work. For you my fellow dimwits. A big thank you.
I’ll be replying to comments, mixing it up a bit with you rowdy, kind folks whenever I get some time. It might be a while. But for now, I have to polish off a tall glass of Franzia boxed wine to cap off a very successful day. Let’s hope I don’t spill it all over my bed like the last time. Wine is impossible to get out of your sheets, and it looks like a crime scene took place in my bed. This is probably a bad time to mention to the new readers that I’m single. Screw it. I’m going with it and letting ‘er rip. Gotta run. Welcome.
The Dimwit Diary 