Before I got sucked into this vortex otherwise commonly referred to as WordPress, I had another outlet to post all of my madness. The other outlet was this little social network site you mighta heard of called Facebook.
I’m no longer on Facebook, with the exception of staying connected with just my family. It’s maybe better that way. Alcohol, late nights, and Facebook do not mix well together. I proved that correct on one too many occasions, so I finally decided to pull the plug. But before I pulled the plug, I collected some of the highlights throughout the years.
The following are some Facebook exchanges between my mother and I involving unicorns, birthdays, and such. Facebook odds & ends, volume two.
Suppose a young man with a wild imagination and too much time on his hands went to a greasy spoon diner one evening at 3 AM. Suppose the same young man grew tired of all the belligerent drunks and lot lizards that usually frequent a greasy spoon diner late at night, so he began to surf the interwebs on his smart phone to occupy his time until his gyro omelette and rye toast were ready to be served.
Suppose that while killing time surfing the interwebs, the young man came across some famous quotes and later stumbled upon the humorous website, Damn You Autocorrect. Now suppose the imaginative young man with too much time on his hands got to thinking:
“What if all the famous authors, poets, artists, philosophers, and great leaders of history had to use a smart phone to type their inspiring quotes? Would their quotes sound any less smart? Would they be any less inspiring? What would the quotes read like if these great historical figures had to put down their pen and paper, and use the same means of communication that we use today – texting, tweeting, emailing, and other forms of social media? What if the famous quotes were subject to autocorrect?”
Suppose the young man’s thoughts were to materialize. I suppose you would get something like this. Ten famous quotes given the autocorrect treatment, volume three.
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My God. What have we done. Modern devices and social media are destroying our love shaft. Our language! Destroying r language! For volumes one and two, click the links below.