$0.00 – A Thank You

001 The Kasual Kid

Get this you dimwits.  I’ll get to the funny business here in a second.  I have a bunch of funny stuff coming up, but I have to get down to some other bu$ine$s first.

I think I’m getting the boot.  All my WordAds are starting to disappear.  POOF!  Just like that.  I think someone reported me or something, just because I told them to stick it up their greedy, corporate arse in my previous post.  Unbelievable.  I thought I lived in a free country, but I guess not.  This is tyranny.  I re-read their terms of service, and I haven’t violated anything.  Nowhere in the terms of service does it say that a person can’t tell them to stick it up their greedy, corporate arse.

That’s what I get for listening to rap.  I never liked rap before.  I just started listening to it a few years ago just when I go running, or when I pull up to a red light in my Toyota Camry and crank some Jay-Z to impress the gal that pulled up beside me.  It never works, by the way.  I think I need bigger rims.

I’m back to running this week and I’ve been listening to a lot of rap again.  I guess Eminem must’ve rubbed off on me, and I had to open my big mouth and slam corporate America.  Thanks a lot Slim Shady.  Now I’m back to ZERO dollars earned off of writing in 8 years.  I’m never gonna afford that big ass yacht.

Well, the thing is, I actually don’t mind the ads.  I’ve watched several of them myself.  Since I write about trying to save the children and other inspirational topics, the ads are usually pertaining to outreach programs and community oriented stuff.  There was a really good one by Adrian Grenier from the show “Entourage.”  He’s a really cool dude, and he’s trying to make a difference in the world by using his celebrity status.  So here I am trying to make a difference in the world myself.  I lost 15 pounds writing last month trying to save the children, and I get the boot.   Makes a lot of sense.

I already have a plan if that’s the case.  I’m hoping that it’s not, but if I get terminated, then I’ll just go to WordAds biggest competitor and add them to my blog.  Whatever.  I’ve survived 8 years of writing without getting paid, and I’ll continue writing regardless.  I’m a determined mofo.  I’ve got ideas for 6 books, so I’ll get paid one way or another.  I just thought it’d be nice to have a little extra pocket change to eat at Arby’s.

Anywho, I created this rap persona a few years ago called “The Kasual Kid.”  That’s me, or him in the photo above.  I keep a flow book, and I spit mad rhymes every now and again.  I rap about things like shower loofas and the hard life growing up in the country tipping cows.   Maybe someday I’ll dig out a few flows and share them with you.  But I have more business to attend to for right now.

This is a thank you to the folks that stopped reading and dropped me like a bad habit.  I’m about to share some really funny stuff here in the next few weeks / months.  At least I hope it’s funny.  Some of you will probably think so.  The others that didn’t wait it out through all my crazy, mad stories, or got offended by a few things they disagreed with, well, they’ll miss out on all the funny stuff.

I use it for motivation.  I like to know people are reading.  It does mean a lot to me.  You guys and gals have been very kind with your comments, likes, shares, ect.  But I also like to know that certain people aren’t reading.  It gives me the drive to want to become a better writer.  I gave a thanks to all of you dearest dimwits who stuck around in the previous post, but this is a thanks to those that left.  It’s about to get real fun around here again.

One last thing.  I’d like to reconcile with WordAds if possible.  I don’t like to bite the hand that feeds me $7.33.   They don’t have to pay anything.  It’s a nice service, really.  So here’s an ad I made for them to promote their business and try to smooth things over.

Take care you dimwits.  I will do the same.

001 WordAds Makes You Cents

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“Be Kasual” Featuring Snoop Lion

I was staying at my friend’s cabin out in Big Bear, California a few years ago.  It was winter and work was slow.  I spent seven weeks of near isolation mostly writing, meditating, reflecting, hiking, exploring, and breathing in that fresh, mountain air.  It was nice to get away from it all and to refuel.  I was thankful to my friend for the opportunity.

During one of my late night writing sessions by the fire, I came up with this Jewish, hardcore rapper persona called “The Kasual Kid.”  I started writing these lyrics – or flows – about a pair of room mates that got into an intense argument because the one guy was using the other guy’s loofah without his permission.  The lyrics were along the lines of something you might expect from The Lonely Island or Flight of The Concords.  But amongst the silliness, The Kasual Kid would sometimes get cerebral and write about more serious topics.  So much for keeping it casual.

In the wake of the terrible tragedy that happened today in Connecticut – 27 dead, including 18 children – I felt like sharing some lyrics that were written during one of those quiet, late night sessions spent by the fire. The intent of this song was to serve as a retort to the glorification of violence that’s prevalent in the rap culture, but the message can also apply to these heinous school shootings that seem to be occurring more and more often: Put the guns down. Bury them. They’re killing our youth.

My heart aches.  There’s no sense that can come from these senseless shootings, but hopefully there is some eventual peace that will come from the victim’s families.

Be Kasual2

“Be Kasual” featuring Snoop Lion

Verse One:
BANG, BANG
Rappers be talking hard
Talkin’ bout guns
And life behind bars
Talkin ‘pimp this shawty’
And ‘ho that shawty’
I shot my shawty with a shotgun Shawty
Sha, forget it man
I got a different plan
I don‘t need no guns
To prove that I’m a man
Go ahead
Call me a pussy, you cats
I’m fine wit that
Cuz while you doin‘ nine years locked up in the slammer
This kitty be livin’ nine lives of the glitz and the glamor
Oo, take it easy Kid
Let’s break it down
Time to get Kasual
Time to turn up the sound

Chorus:
Be casual
Be casual, kids
Cuz casualties
Ain‘t no way to live
So be casual
Be casual, ya dig
Bury your guns
Don’t bury your kids

Verse Two:
POP, POP
I’m a straight shooter, Pops
Imma tell it how it is
Yeah, tell it how it is
I don’t need no guns
To handle my biz
I got a great, big mind
More bullets than a nine
And if you ever fired yours
Might surprise ya at what you‘d find
Fine
Yeah, you’re right
Shootin’ guns is a better way to fight
But you end up dead
And what good is it dead
And what good is it gone
Am I right
Or am I wrong?
I’m tired of singing this same old song
Oo, take it easy Kid
Lets break it down
Time to get Kasual
Time to turn up the sound

Chorus:
Be casual
Be casual, kids
Cuz casualties
Ain‘t no way to live
So be casual
Be casual, ya dig
Bury your guns
Don’t bury your kids

Verse Three:
POW, POW
Shots fired
Another one down
Buried that bitch
Nine milliemeters underneath the ground
C‘mon now
You a bunch of clowns
I’m callin’ you out
Time to step up
Time to put ’em down
Cuz I’ve handled the steel
Yeah big deal
What’s the thrill in how many bodies somebody can kill?
Shot full of lead
Yeah, shot in the head
How‘d Timothy die?
He was shot full of lead
Yeah, shot in the head
Like a broken record
Tryin’ to talk to these dregs
Nah, take it easy Kid
Lets break it down
Time to get Kasual
Time to turn up the sound

Chorus:
Be casual
Be casual, kids
Cuz casualties
Ain’t no way to live
So be casual
Be casual, ya dig
Bury your guns
Don’t bury your kids

Reload

Be casual
Be casual, kids
Cuz casualties
Ain’t no way to live
So be casual
Be casual, ya dig
Bury your guns
Don’t bury your kids

R.I.P.
Newtown, Connecticut
12.14.12