So by now, you regular dimwits know that I work in the film industry. I’ve downplayed it in previous posts, but it’s actually a pretty cool gig. I’ve been at it for about 12 years now, and I’ve had the fortune of working on two films with Anne Hathaway, or Annie Spagannie as I like to call her, and well, of course we became instant best friends.
We chat back and forth from time to time, send drunk texts to each other at 3 AM, those sorts of things that best friends do. Well, Annie Spagannie has been following along on my blog when she’s not too busy making films. She had a chance to read the last guest blogger post where John Stamos wrote a brave and chilling letter to the Baha Men (which I would suggest you read first if you haven’t already), and being the huge Baha Men super fan that she is, she was able to help get me in touch with the nice fellas.
So I’d like to thank the Baha Men for being kind enough to be this week’s guest blogger and offering up their response letter to John Stamos. It’s an insightful read as one would expect, and I think you’ll get a lot out of it. I know I did. Thanks the Baha Men.
Yo Stamos! Woof, Woof, Woof!
Yo we got your letter dawg (no pun intended.) Hey listen man, that was an incredibly cool thing of you to do. It takes a lot of guts to tell someone you killed two of their dawgs, even if it did come 12 years late. I just gotta believe they up there somewhere in a better place, right? Isn’t that how this whole thing works? Pepper Spray and Mace, snatchin’ tennis balls outta the air, havin’ a damn good time rolling around up there in them puffy clouds. Probably nailin’ them female dawgs too, if I know those two hound dawgs! WOOF!
Sorry it took so long to get back to you, but we was back in the studio making some more of those fresh and funky junkanoo beats. Our schedules have been mad crazy right now. But it will all be worth it in just a little while. We hopin’ anyways. The Baha Men can’t wait to blow the lid off the new stuff. They thought the dawgs was wild – wait till they get a hold of these beats. It’s gonna’ blow some minds! And probaby a few stereos too, cause I’m tellin’ you, this shit is dope.
Back to the killing our dawgs thing – man, no hard feelings. We actually knew it was you all along. Sally ratted you out. Sombody at the party overheard somebody who said you was hammered and goin’ on about a master plan for juicy steaks, and plottin’ revenge on us for not being able to play your birthday party, or somethin like that. Then that somebody told Sally who told our drummer Jimbo Slice. You know how it goes. Poeple like to yap their traps when it ain’t nobody’s business really.
And well, we was disappointed to hear you done it, no doubt. We always seen you on Full House, and even though you was a badass biker, you seemed to have a good heart. I know it’s just TV, and it was all acting and stuff, but still, you can tell alot about people form their smile, the way their eyes look or don’t look, and just the way they carry themselves. You can’t act that Stamos. We knew you was a good guy.
It’s just you was in a bad place, that’s all. Ain’t we all sometimes. Life can knock you silly but unlike you, it don’t have the decency to say sorry. It don’t care none if you’re Bob, or Jim, or if you’re the famous actor John Stamos. Everyone gets the rug taken out from underneath them at some point, and I guess it was just me, you, and Sally Jessy Raphael’s turn at the time. Just gotta get back up, put the rug back into place. Like Eminem says, you only get one shot. Might as well make it a good one.
We gotta tell you this one last thing before we get back to the studio. You was actually the inspiration behind the idea for “Who Let The Dogs Out?” We didn’t wanna’ tell no one it was John Stamos, cause we collectively felt it was more mysterious just letting it alone. The mystery paid off. We still collectin’ those checks off that song 12 years later, so let’s leave it at this Stamos. Let’s get together sometime, crack some bubbly and we won’t never mention none of this ever again. Clean slate. Whad’ya say?
Hope you’re good John, and sorry to hear when things got ugly with you and Rebecca, and the whole split and all of that stuff. Just another one of those things, another one of those twists and turns in life. Grab the wheel, hold on, don’t never take your foot off the gas. Keep on driving Stamos. Take that shot.
Your dawgs forever,
The Baha Men
PS. Thanks for the PF Changs gift certificate! I got the Shaking Beef and Jimbo got the Crispy Honey Shrimp. It was mad dope! Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof!!!