A Day In the Life of a Movie Location Scout

Well, Pittsburgh’s no Qatar, but it is definitely a beautiful city.  This is a shot taken from the rooftop of the Convention Center in downtown.  You should see it all lit up at night.  I love my city.  I love Pittsburgh.

I worked 20 hours yesterday.  Ah, yeah.  I’m officially back to scouting on the movies, and it feels good, if only for just this week.  There’s more work coming down the pike and I’ll be back at it full time very soon.  Making that ca$h monies, living the dream.

Scouting on movies is wild.  It’s full throttle, action packed, hustling, on the go.  Seeing some of the most interesting and beautiful locations all over the city and surrounding areas, and meeting all sorts of people.  Just to give you an example of an average day, a few of yesterday’s highlights went like this:

– Scouted several ornate churches built in the early 1900’s.  Got the history on Tiffany Glass stained windows, and got to see the windows up close and personal.  Climbed to the bell tower, got pigeon poop in my eye, but the view was worth it.  Not too many people get to climb the bell tower.

– Scouted the Convention Center.  Security guard told me all about how her daughter was an extra in a movie.  She wants to be an extra in a movie, too.  Everyone everywhere you go wants to be an extra and wants you to keep them informed when the movie fires up.  It’s exhausting, but people are so friendly and nice.

– Scouted a hotel restaurant.  The one waitress gave me the history of the giant mural painted on the wall.  She pointed out several flaws in the painting then insisted I check out their new speak easy restaurant and led me downstairs to peek in the window.  The gal was pretty, blond and enthusiastic.  I think she liked me.  I took a photo of her and two of the other waiters, and told her I’d be back sometime to say hello.

– Ran into a homeless person.  She wanted me to take her photo sitting on a bench.  I did. Then she asked me what I was doing.  I explained I was scouting on a movie, and she told me of her concerns that if we choose this particular church for a location, she and the other homeless people won’t have a place to sleep on the adjacent hidden sidewalk at night.  I assured her I would take care of her, and see to it that she has a place to sleep somewhere else if we end up filming here.  Said goodbye.  Had to run.

Speaking of having to run, gotta go.  I had a short break in between making phone calls to set up appointments today.  I have a list of 20 locations to try and get into today and tomorrow.  Many more adventures to be had.  Just wanted to check in.  I’ll respond to comments and such maybe this weekend.  I have another 20 hour day ahead of me.   Cheers.

One last thing, please do me a favor.  I like to help people out when I can.  This really talented artist that goes by the name Alexandra is in a competition.  She’s so sweet and talented (and super cute!)  She’s just got a great spirit about her and very humble.   I want to help her win this competition, so could you please click the link and vote for her on Facebook.  It will only take less than 2 minutes of your time.  I worked a 20 hour day, but I took the time to try and help her out.  It would mean a lot if you dimwits did the same.

Click the link here to go vote for her.  Also, check out her site.  She has this favorite series of mine with these cities of miniature houses she makes out of paper receipts and candy wrappers.  It’s truly amazing.  Give it a look when you get some time.  Thanks so much.  Off for some more adventuring…

$0.00 – A Thank You

Get this you dimwits.  I’ll get to the funny business here in a second.  I have a bunch of funny stuff coming up, but I have to get down to some other bu$ine$s first.

I think I’m getting the boot.  All my WordAds are starting to disappear.  POOF!  Just like that.  I think someone reported me or something, just because I told them to stick it up their greedy, corporate arse in my previous post.  Unbelievable.  I thought I lived in a free country, but I guess not.  This is tyranny.  I re-read their terms of service, and I haven’t violated anything.  Nowhere in the terms of service does it say that a person can’t tell them to stick it up their greedy, corporate arse.

That’s what I get for listening to rap.  I never liked rap before.  I just started listening to it a few years ago just when I go running, or when I pull up to a red light in my Toyota Camry and crank some Jay-Z to impress the gal that pulled up beside me.  It never works, by the way.  I think I need bigger rims.

I’m back to running this week and I’ve been listening to a lot of rap again.  I guess Eminem must’ve rubbed off on me, and I had to open my big mouth and slam corporate America.  Thanks a lot Slim Shady.  Now I’m back to ZERO dollars earned off of writing in 8 years.  I’m never gonna afford that big ass yacht.

Well, the thing is, I actually don’t mind the ads.  I’ve watched several of them myself.  Since I write about trying to save the children and other inspirational topics, the ads are usually pertaining to outreach programs and community oriented stuff.  There was a really good one by Adrian Grenier from the show “Entourage.”  He’s a really cool dude, and he’s trying to make a difference in the world by using his celebrity status.  So here I am trying to make a difference in the world myself.  I lost 15 pounds writing last month trying to save the children, and I get the boot.   Makes a lot of sense.

I already have a plan if that’s the case.  I’m hoping that it’s not, but if I get terminated, then I’ll just go to WordAds biggest competitor and add them to my blog.  Whatever.  I’ve survived 8 years of writing without getting paid, and I’ll continue writing regardless.  I’m a determined mofo.  I’ve got ideas for 6 books, so I’ll get paid one way or another.  I just thought it’d be nice to have a little extra pocket change to eat at Arby’s.

Anywho, I created this rap persona a few years ago called “The Kasual Kid.”  That’s me, or him in the photo above.  I keep a flow book, and I spit mad rhymes every now and again.  I rap about things like shower loofas and the hard life growing up in the country tipping cows.   Maybe someday I’ll dig out a few flows and share them with you.  But I have more business to attend to for right now.

This is a thank you to the folks that stopped reading and dropped me like a bad habit.  I’m about to share some really funny stuff here in the next few weeks / months.  At least I hope it’s funny.  Some of you will probably think so.  The others that didn’t wait it out through all my crazy, mad stories, or got offended by a few things they disagreed with, well, they’ll miss out on all the funny stuff.

I use it for motivation.  I like to know people are reading.  It does mean a lot to me.  You guys and gals have been very kind with your comments, likes, shares, ect.  But I also like to know that certain people aren’t reading.  It gives me the drive to want to become a better writer.  I gave a thanks to all of you dearest dimwits who stuck around in the previous post, but this is a thanks to those that left.  It’s about to get real fun around here again.

One last thing.  I’d like to reconcile with WordAds if possible.  I don’t like to bite the hand that feeds me $7.33.   They don’t have to pay anything.  It’s a nice service, really.  So here’s an ad I made for them to promote their business and try to smooth things over.

Take care you dimwits.  I will do the same.

$7.33 – A Thank You

Wooooooo doggie!  It’s been a while since I’ve done one for the ladies and the gay gentlemen, so here you go.  Here’s an autographed topless photo of me while out for a jog the other day.

I’m back to running and I haven’t drank for a week.  Ladies, it’s worth mentioning that I’m very much single and I’m super awesome at taking out the trash.  Totally just kidding.  Taking out the trash is the worst.  But for the love of God, would one of you girls just marry me already.  I haven’t french kissed a girl in like 5 years, and I’m getting tired of making out with my pillow night after night.

Anywho, enough complaining.  It’s been a while since I’ve done a proper thank you to you dimwits.  I used to do up something special for every milestone:  50 followers, 500 followers, 1,000 followers, 70 gagillion followers, ect.  But then somebody brought it to my attention that calling people followers maybe isn’t the best term, because the word follower has some sort of sheepish connotation to it.

You dimwits aren’t sheep.  You’re tigers, you’re leaders.   You’re wonderful people, so I’ll just leave it at that.  I’ll just say thank you for reading however many of you there are, because it means a lot to me.  It used to just be my mother reading this damn thing and it got annoying with her commenting all the time, and nobody else (Hey ma, I need to borrow $1,000 pronto.  Wire it to my account.  Thanks.)

I hate math.  I hate it even worse than taking out the trash, but I wanna go over some math with you real quick.  I made my first money ever off of writing last month.  I put these stupid ads on my blog because I wanna buy a big ass yacht.  Guess how much money I earned the first month?  A whopping 7 dollars and 33 cents.  Woopty do, dinner is on me ladies.  Looks like we’ll be eating at Arby’s and we’ll have to share that chocolate milkshake.  If there’s any money left over, we can go buy a cookie from Subway.  7 dollars and 33 cents.  What a crock.

I got out my calculator.  I’ve been writing for about eight years now, so I’ve earned roughly one dollar per year.  I’d say over the course of a year, I average writing and Photoshopping about an hour a day.  So that’s 365 hours per year.  One dollar per year, divided by 365 hours, equals .0027 per hour.  Now, keep in mind the big ass yacht that I want to buy costs 65 million dollars.

I did some more math.  Math is seriously the worst.  I’d rather watch reruns of Lucy than do math.  I forget how I came to the answer exactly, but I figured out at this rate, I’d have to write for about 15 billion more hours to be able to afford the 65 million dollar big ass yacht.  Sounds about right.  What a crock indeed.  I think I’m gonna start making candles instead of writing.  At least my apartment will smell nice.

No, but seriously, I do enjoy writing and I plan to continue writing in the future as I get time.  I know my blog is confusing, and as a result, I’ve lost a lot of folks along the way.  Sometimes I write serious, sometimes funny.  Sometimes I share sad stories, sometimes I make Photoshop tutorials.  Sometimes it’s photos, sometimes it’s videos.  For a simpleton, I’m a very complex man.  But through all the various writing – up and down, sideways and backwards – some of you have stuck around through the whole thing, and that’s really cool.  I appreciate it mucho.  So this is my thanks to you.

I don’t like to make promises, but I think I worked a lot of stuff out last month.  I’m feeling good, so I think I’ll stick to some really funny writing for a while.  I have a bunch of ideas, some old stuff, some new stuff.  We’ll just see where the road leads.  It better lead me to that big ass yacht.  7 dollars and 33 cents.  Hey WordAds, suck it!  Take your $7.33 and stick it up your greedy, coroporate arse.

Well, anyway ladies and gay gentlemen.  Here’s a bonus video especially for you.  It’s a compilation video I made a few years back of my professional modeling photos.  I put it to the song “Love Is On the Way” by Saigon Kick.  Better get the cold shower ready.

Thanks again you dimwits.  Have a nice day.  I will do the same.

The Emmaus House

Man, you dimwits.  I don’t know what’s happening.  I can’t sleep.  It’s 1:47 AM.  It’s raining.  Heavy thunderstorms and crashing lightening.  I have the windows opened.  There’s a nice breeze and it’s rather peaceful.  I like thunderstorms.  There’s probably some sort of metaphor in there to sum up my life.  Heavy thunderstorms and crashing lightening bring me peace.

Listen, I joke around a lot.  This is a humor blog primarily but sometimes you have to know when to put jokes aside.  This is one of those times.

I just wrote to some missionary friends of mine that are living in Haiti.  Sent them a message on Facebook at 12:48 AM.  The one gal responded immediately at exactly 1:00 AM.  What in the world is she doing up at 1:00 AM?  What possible reasons could there be for her to still be awake?  Probably for the same reasons as me.  She has a lot on her mind.

My friend Jillian and her husband Hunter are responsible for taking care of dozens of orphans in the city of Cap-Haitien.  Tragic cases.  Kids who lost their parents to earthquakes, kids who had their parents give them up because they can’t afford to feed them.  It’s a real mess.  It’s sad.  It would break your heart if you only knew their stories.

I know firsthand because I went on a food and medical relief trip to the Haitian orphanage back in March of 2012.  I paid for the trip myself.  I was doing well financially at the time and I didn’t feel comfortable asking people for money to fund my trip.  It’s just a weird thing with me.  I don’t like asking people for money if it’s for my sake.  I’d rather starve.

I was working on a movie at the time that just started gearing up.  When I returned from the mission trip, I had lost my job.  Budget cuts.  I didn’t make the cut.  The trip cost me thousands and thousands of dollars because of the lost work.  It’s partially why I’m in the hole so much right now, but I don’t care.  I’d do it all over again because my poverty is nothing like the poverty these poor kids have to go through.  I have a roof over my head and a soft pillow to fall asleep at night.

God, I’m actually tearing up right now as I’m typing this.  Honestly, I’m a mess.  I’m sober.  That’s the problem.  Sure, that’s it.  Knock yourself out with some whiskey, kid, but it doesn’t change certain things no matter how much you drink yourself silly.  I can’t get these beautiful Haitian kids off my mind.  And that’s a good thing on a stormy night for a wild insomniac like myself.  Compassion can go a long ways.

I don’t have money right now.  I’m honestly broke.  But what I do have is an small audience of people that are reading my stuff.  Writing is cool, the recent recognition is nice.  I’m honored that I’ve been able to connect with so many strangers through my words.  But to me the real gift and the real talent is what a person is willing to give back if they’ve been blessed with a certain talent.

I have a platform at the moment being that I was just Freshly Pressed.  That platform might not last long.  I’m busy working on another film project and it consumes all my time.  The blog is gonna take a hit. People move onto the next funny blog or the next interesting thing if you’re too idle.  People want entertainment, they expect performance.  Rightfully so.  That’s fair.  I won’t be performing much in the next few months I’m afraid, so I’ll lose some people along the way.

I’m tired as hell.  I haven’t slept much the past week.  Tomorrow, the clouds will lift and the feeling of peace will pass.  It’s gonna hurt like a sonofabitch.  I have to be up in a few hours.  But this is important.  One day or one week of my restlessness could mean a happy and joyful life for one of these Haitian kids.  No pressure.  I can’t sleep.  So I’m up late writing, asking you guys for help.

The following links I’m about to share are religious based.  I don’t care what your religious affiliation is or isn’t.  I’ll be honest.  I avoid talking about religion because I’ve never seen one topic divide so many people.  I’m not interested in dividing folks.  I’m interested in bringing people together if I have an opportunity to do so.  I have an opportunity.  Right now at 1:47 on a stormy night in Pittsburgh.  So please consider checking out these links and donating some money if you’re able.  You hear it all the time, but it’s true.  Any amount no matter how small will help.  And if you’re not able to donate or don’t feel moved to donate, that’s cool too.  I can’t donate either at the moment, but consider finding another way to help out people out if you’re able.  Be good, little dimwits.  Bless your hearts.

1.  Emmaus House – A blurb from Hunter & Jillian’s website:  “A home to transition young adults from Cap Haitien Children’s Home to independent living. To provide life skills, professional skills, and education to afford them the opportunity to be faithful, strong, knowledgeable, followers of Christ and able to spread the gospel in Haiti.”

2.  Jillian’s Blog – Jillian shares confessions of what it’s like to be a missionary.  Honest, powerful read.  Check it out.  Tell Jillian the Dimwit sent you, and give her a hard time.  And tell her to go to bed!  1:00 AM?  Crazy talk.

3.  The Emmaus House Facebook Page – Lots of updates, stories and profiles on the kids, and other cool stuff.  Give it a Like please.

4.  Hunter’s Photography Site – Hunter’s the man!  C’mon, his name is Hunter.  He takes great photos and let’s you experience Haiti through the lens of his camera.  Give his blog a look and a follow.  He’s a big nerd, and gets all juiced up about those sorts of things like most of us tend to do.

Okay, well I think I can rest peacefully now and catch a few hours of sleep.  I just really needed to do this.  It’s been on my mind for a while now.  Hunter and Jillian are such great people, and the life of a missionary is not an easy one.

I kid you not, the rain just stopped.  There’s another metaphor in there or something.  Time for bed, but not before I leave you with a few photos from my trip.  I have a lot more but this will do for now.

Take care dimwits.  Thanks for being awesome.