l,500 Followers – A Thank You

Ring the bells and sound the alarms you ding dong, dingalings!  1,500 incredibly thoughtful, kind, lovely, and delightfully warped followers.  1,500.  Wow, I’m at a loss for words.  Totally just kidding.  I’m never at a loss for words, as I’m sure you’re all well aware of by now.

Well, let me say this.  You have all been so kind with your comments, likes, shares, and confessing your undying love to me.  It’s still pretty wild for me, because as I was briefly explaining to my virtual love, my Nelly, my tumbleweed, AKA The Lunatic.  Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.  Let’s back that train up.  Could it be?!  Has the Dimwit found his Juliet?

No, never mind.  Ixnay on the train backing up.  It’s more mysterious to let it be, and a story’s gotta have a little mystery to it too, you know.  Can’t all be wiener jokes and tall tales, although rest assured, this story will have plenty more of both.  If you’d like to know who the mystery gal is, then I suggest you click the link to find out.  She’s a dear soul, a terrific writer, a fantastic virtual french kisser, a so-so Macarena dancer, and I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that my tumbleweed bakes the best damn virtual Snickerdoodle cookies that a dimwit did ever taste!

My sweet, tumbleweed.  My loving dear.  May the winds be favorable and kind to a dimwitted dingleberry, and may the winds blow(job) a tumbleweed my way someday soon.  Well, my Mom reads this blog, so on that note I better get moving on.

I did just want to take a moment to say thanks for reading and following.  I’m blown away by the response.   But of course a thank you is never enough for a madman like myself.  So how’s about a photo of the dimwit dingaling just hanging out, having a grand, old time at the Chuck E. Cheeses, kicking back in the command post as the spirally tube gets swallowed up by fiery flames, while wearing a beanie propelor hat with the nice, kind message on the front “Blow Me.”  You know.  Being that I’m so blown away.

For you, my fellow dimwits.  Thank you.  Dimwit Diary 1500 Followers

I would imagine your refrigerators must be getting pretty full by now with all these too hot to handle images.  And that my friends, was a lyrical reference to my second favorite rapper of all time – Vanilla Ice.  My favorite being Bubba Sparxxx, of course.

Figured since I’m giving shout outs to the best rappers of all time, it would be a good opportunity to give some shout outs to some other super cool bloggers that you should check out.  Tell ’em the Dimwit sent ya, and ask them where my money is if you would be so kind.

1.  Don of All Trades – Pretty much alls you need to know about this guy is he nicknamed his kids Ace, Cool, and G$.  Like many of us, Don sometimes acts like a tough guy through his writing, but in all actuality, he’s one of the nicest guys you’ll ever meet.  You’ll enjoy his stories, so be sure to go check them out.

2.  John Balaya – I try to give shout outs that cover a variety of topics.  I believe it’s important that we all strive to be well-rounded individuals.  John is this round’s inspirational recommendation.  He’s an openly gay man who’s been living with HIV for over 23 years now.  John lost his father when he was 14, his brother shortly afterwards, and he is currently taking care of his 90 year old mother.  John writes about these topics and many more with a lot of heart, so I ask that you go read them with an open mind.

3. Alexandra Pullen – I have an art background, but I’ve lost touch with the art world over the years.  It’s been nice visiting a lot of your blogs, and getting a bit of a refresher course. When I visited Alexandra’s blog, I was viewing some of her amazing works when I came across her “Houses” series.   I’ve never seen anything like it.  She makes these vast cities out of tiny paper receipts and candy wrappers.  It’s truly breathtaking.  It’s my favorite series of hers, but the rest of her works are amazing too.  Please go check them out and show her some support.

4.  Ned’s Blog – Meet Ned.  His name is Ned and he has a hilarious blog.  Ned is just one of those super, cool guys that’s impossible to hate.  So go ahead haters.  Give it a go and try to prove me wrong.  And for all you lovers out there, you’ll want to give it a go as well, because Ned is just a lovable guy who writes with a lot of humor, and occasionally he says something smart.  Emphasis on occasionally (joking Ned!!)

That concludes this round of shout outs.  If you’d like a shout out in the next round, then shoot me a message and we’ll try to make it so.  I’m all for helping out whenever I can, so no need to be bashful if you’d really like your blog to get some more exposure.  It would be my pleasure.

Well, we lost a few dimwits along the way which happens, but the rest of you are hangin’ tough.  And that my friends, was a lyrical reference to my second favorite boy band of all time – New Kids On The Block.  My favorite being the Backstreet Boys, of course.  I’ve got the next month of posts all written up, which includes more famous autocorrected quotes, Photoshop tutorials, and other funny bits.  So feel free to visit whenever you’ve got some time, because I’ll be posting regularly.

Thanks again.  It’s really cool being connected to so many of you amazing dimwits.  Should be some good times ahead.

Yours fondly,

Chris Hinton
The Captain of the Dimwits

20 Question And Answers With the Dimwit – An Apology

Hello fellow bloggers and you poor, unlucky souls that had the misfortune to stumble across this blog.  Thought I’d take a break in the action from Photoshopping ferocious wolves and writing fictional stories about the Baha Men for a minute if that’s all right.

I was nominated for three awards this past week.  It’s an honor, really.  The only awards that I’ve ever won are things like the “Hustle” award in basketball, and “Most Likely to End Up In Jail.”  Nailed both of them suckers, too.  My parents were proud to get that phone call at 2 AM, let me tell you.

The nominations mean a lot, they really do.  However, I’m sad to report that I have to decline.  I was really conflicted as how to go about it, and I even wrote to a seasoned blogger friend to see if she could offer up some advice since I’m kinda new around here.

I figured I owed some sort of explanation as to why I’m declining the nominations.  So here it is.  I’ve been busy writing.  Crazy busy.  Maddening days and maddening nights typing away at the keyboard and Photoshopping.

Pretty soon I have to go back to working on movies, back to a job that pays.  So I’ve been trying to get the next few months all finished up, so I can still post a little madness for you all when I’m working.  I don’t want your lives to all the sudden lose purpose and meaning when the Dimwit’s gone.   That would be something awful.  So I’m declining the nominations so I can keep plowing forward and remain focused on writing.  Hope you understand.

But of course just like a thank you is never enough for a madman like myself, an apology is never enough either.  I’ve done some digging.  I have all sorts of keepsakes that I’ve saved over the years – journals, high school essays, drawings, embarrassing poetry.   Well, I managed to dig up a good one.  I found this handout from my Speech class in 9th grade.  It’s a list of 20 personal questions and answers.  I noticed on the rules for the award nominations, they had you fill out 10 questions about yourself, so I thought I’d share my personal answers with my fellow dimwits as sort of my apology.  It’s outdated, sure.  But honestly, the answers haven’t changed all that much in *gulp* 20 years.  I was as ornery then as I am now.

I was a teacher’s nightmare, and boy did I like to give them fits.   I was a smartass, the class clown, cracking jokes, disrupting class, skipping classes, wondering around the hallways, and skipping school.  But I was also the kid who took the smelly girl to the school dance when I found out she had been taking showers in the mornings at school because her parents couldn’t afford things like soap and shampoo.  So even though I gave them fits, the teachers cut me some slack because they knew I had a kind heart and meant well overall.  I also graduated top of my class, so suck it teachers!!!  That was my final hoorah for them, and boy did it drive them mad.

Well, I tend to ramble in case you haven’t noticed, so I better wrap it up.  Below are my 20 personal questions and answers.  For any of my *gulp* elderly? ancient? readers who have trouble seeing with your cataracts, you can click on the image, and it should open up nice and big.   Here are my 20 personal answers….

Peronal Inventory Exercise

There you have it.   A little history and background on the Dimwit dingaling.  I’ve got some good stuff coming up.  More Photoshop tutorials, famous guest bloggers, online reviews, an advice column, and lots more madness.

I do appreciate the nominations.  Feel free to nominate me for more if you’d like.  Just let me know, and I’ll give you a plug or something in return.  Below are the three, kind folks who nominated me.  Please be sure to visit their blogs and go give them all sorts of fits.  I will do the same.

1.  Sassy Panties – She has a avatar-whoozy-ma-whatzit photo of a child picking it’s nose.  She’s also my kindred spirit and she’s funny.  She likes to curse like a sailor, but don’t let that stop you if you’re more of a tame tiger.  She also has a kind heart.   She would be delighted if you stopped by, I’m sure.

2.  KiralynBlue – She’s an over-analyzer, ninja squirrel wrangler, and urban fantasy author.  Those are her words, not mine if you can believe it.  Does sound intriguing.  I’d suggest you give it a click.

3.  Aspiring Writer 22 – Meet Herminia Chow.  She’s 22 and an aspiring writer incase you haven’t gathered from her blog title.  She’s also Canadian, but we won’t hold that against her.  She seems lovely, so show her some support if you would.

Cool, well thanks again.  And sorry if I’ve missed any replies to your comments.  I do read them all and try to answer them as best I can, but my mean boss is a slave driver (and also a dimwit.)

Cheers to you all.