Chris Hinton’s 2013 New Year’s Resolutions Progress Report

Chris Hinton 2013 New Years resolutions

Well, well.  We’re already over the halfway mark for the year 2013 and it’ll soon be August.  It’s hard to believe.  Time flies when you’re having fun.

At the beginning of the year, I made a list of New Year’s resolutions.  Just thought I’d take this opportunity to share the list and give a quick progress report for those that might be interested.  For those that are not interested, I’ve included a link to view Def Leppard’s official music video for “Pour Some Sugar On Me.”  Click here for some of the craziest, coolest one armed drumming action you’ve ever seen, and for some of the biggest mullets in rock history.

I’ve put a check mark by the completed resolutions and indicated the outstanding ones in red.  Let’s get rocked, Def Leppard aficionados.  One armed drumroll please…

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Chris Hinton’s 2013 New Year’s Resolutions:

#1)  Get a pretty cool haircut just like the movie stars  ( √ )
#2)  Learn how to play Eddie Van Halen guitar solos on a keytar so that I can impress my friends at parties  ( √ )
#3)  Eat more celery and kale for dinner instead of chili cheese dogs and one pound burritos ( √ )
#4)  Get in shape so that I can bend down to tie my shoes just like the “good old days” ( √ )
#5)  Do at least one thing a day that scares me (ie: doing math, saying “Bloody Mary” in the mirror three times in a row, or listening to a Nicki Minaj song the whole way through) ( √ )
#6)  Visit a wax museum  No )
#7)  Visit a non-wax museum ( √ )
#8) Buy new car mats  ( √ )
#9) Clean out the fridge ( √ )
#10) Get married  ( No )

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Welp, there you have it.  Eight down, two to go.  I still have plenty of more time before the year winds down, but I’d like to keep my foot on the gas pedal.  Crank this mutha up a few decibels.  I’m a real go-getter.

There’s a bunch of newbies around here (welcome you dimwits).  Perhaps some of you are single ladies?  Feel free to check out my latest rejected Match.com dating profile if you haven’t already, and let’s see if we can’t knock the last two off the list.

I’ll see one of you lucky gals at the wax museum.   Look for me.  I’ll be the one wearing a burgundy turtleneck tucked neatly inside his daisy dukes.  Make the most of the remaining year, you all.  I will do the same.  Hugs and kisses.

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Facebook Odds & Ends – Volume Three

Have you ever wondered what the big deal is about the privacy issues with Facebook?  I’m about to school you.  This one’s for Zuckerberg, that slimy weasel.  That sell out.  Handing over people’s private information for profit.  Time to go to class.

As I’ve stated before, I’m no longer on Facebook with the exception of staying connected with my family.   I’m rarely on Facebook anymore.  WordPress is now my home for causing trouble and ensuing hilarity.  But when I was active on Facebook, sometimes I would click on random stranger’s profiles.  The majority of them had their privacy settings so that you couldn’t see their photos, but some of them left their photos public.  Booyah.  I would leaf through random stranger’s photos and download various pics that I found either humorous or interesting.

I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with the photos, if anything.  But they were made public property.  They were now mine and yours thanks to your boy, Zuckerberg, and all the many changes Facebook makes throughout the years.  If you don’t stay on top of it, your photos very well could be made public without your knowledge.

So what’s the big deal?  Most likely nothing.  That is unless someone with a creative mind, too much time on his hands, and killer Photoshop skills gets a hold of them.

Chris Winter

Above is a photo of me that I’ll be using for the purpose of this educational demonstration.  With a little Photoshop magic, I’m about to go make some new Facebook friends.  These are complete strangers.  I’ve never met any of them in my life.  If you happen to recognize any of the folks, tell them I said hello.  And if you don’t recognize any of them, don’t worry.  I’ve downloaded several hundred more photos, so maybe your friends will be in the next round.  And who knows?  Maybe some of you dimwits will be as well.  Now let’s go Facebooking, shall we?  We definitely shall.

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SwingVollyballBeach BabeLakeSwinging BridgeMirrorTree HuggerNorth CarolinaCemeteryGhetto Booty

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Change your Facebook settings to private, you dimwits!  And make sure you tell Zuckerberg to suck it.  That slimy weasel.

Facebook Odds & Ends – Volume Two

Before I got sucked into this vortex otherwise commonly referred to as WordPress, I had another outlet to post all of my madness.  The other outlet was this little social network site you mighta heard of called Facebook.

I’m no longer on Facebook, with the exception of staying connected with just my family.  It’s maybe better that way.  Alcohol, late nights, and Facebook do not mix well together.  I proved that correct on one too many occasions, so I finally decided to pull the plug.  But before I pulled the plug, I collected some of the highlights throughout the years.

The following are some Facebook exchanges between my mother and I involving unicorns, birthdays, and such.  Facebook odds & ends, volume two.

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Facebook Friends with Mom

Unicorn Army

Ten Famous Autocorrected Quotes – Volume Three

Suppose a young man with a wild imagination and too much time on his hands went to a greasy spoon diner one evening at 3 AM.   Suppose the same young man grew tired of all the belligerent drunks and lot lizards that usually frequent a greasy spoon diner late at night, so he began to surf the interwebs on his smart phone to occupy his time until his gyro omelette and rye toast were ready to be served.

Suppose that while killing time surfing the interwebs, the young man came across some famous quotes and later stumbled upon the humorous website, Damn You Autocorrect.  Now suppose the imaginative young man with too much time on his hands got to thinking:

“What if all the famous authors, poets, artists, philosophers, and great leaders of history had to use a smart phone to type their inspiring quotes?  Would their quotes sound any less smart?  Would they be any less inspiring?  What would the quotes read like if these great historical figures had to put down their pen and paper, and use the same means of communication that we use today – texting, tweeting, emailing, and other forms of social media?  What if the famous quotes were subject to autocorrect?”

Suppose the young man’s thoughts were to materialize.  I suppose you would get something like this.  Ten famous quotes given the autocorrect treatment, volume three.

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Winston Churchill

Dalai Lama

Albert Einstein

Audrey Hepburn

Martlin Luther King Jr

Oscar Wilde

Sigmond Freud

Muhammad Ali

Mark Twain

Marilyn Monroe

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My God.   What have we done.  Modern devices and social media are destroying our love shaft.  Our language!  Destroying r language!  For volumes one and two, click the links below.

Ten Famous Autocorrected Quotes – Volume One 
Ten Famous Autocorrected Quotes – Volume Two

40 Must See Photos of Italy

Three years ago, I took my Mom on a two week vacation to Italy.  It’s always been a dream of hers to visit the motherland, so I was happy to be in a position to finally see that her dream was fulfilled.

Despite a few tense moments to be expected when a mother and her 32 year old son team up to travel, it was a great trip.  We traveled to Rome, toured the Colosseum, visited the Vatican, took a train to Sicily, walked the beaches, drove the countryside, and ate gelato until our hearts were content.

Whether you’ve personally been to Italy or have only seen the beautiful country through photos, I think you’ll find a mother-son take to be a fresh perspective.  I previously posted 25 must see photos of Italy back in March.  This time I’m upping the ante.  Without further ado, may I present 40 must see photos of Italy like you’ve never seen before.

1.  My Mom taking a picture of an Italy tour guide book
001 My Mom taking a picture of a Italy tour book

2.  My Mom taking a picture of a map of Italy
002 My Mom taking a picture of a map

3.  My Mom taking a picture of me reading a brochure
003 My Mom taking a picture of me reading a brochure

4.  My Mom taking a picture of a pine tree
004 My Mom taking a picture of a pine tree

5.  My Mom taking a picture of a barren tree
005 My Mom taking a picture of a barren tree

6.  My Mom taking a picture of a TV
006 My Mom taking a picture of a TV

7.  My Mom taking a picture of a monk
007 My Mom taking a picture of a monk

8.  My Mom taking a picture of a nun
008 My Mom taking a picture of a nun

9.  My Mom taking a picture of Jesus
009 My Mom taking a picture of Jesus

10.  My Mom taking a picture of a severed head
010 My Mom taking a picture of a severed head

11.  Me taking a picture of a severed head
011 Me taking a photo of a severed head

12.  My Mom taking a picture of a fruit salad
012 My Mom taking a picture of a fruit salad

13.  My Mom taking a picture of a Coke can
013 My Mom taking a picture of a Coke can

14.  My Mom taking a picture of a McDonald’s dessert menu
014 My Mom taking a picture of the McDonalds dessert menu

15.  My Mom taking a picture of red chili peppers
015 My Mom taking a picture of chili peppers

16.  My Mom taking a picture of oranges
016 My Mom taking a picture of oranges

17.  Me taking a picture of bread
017 Me taking a photo of bread

18.  My Mom taking a picture of me eating pizza crust
018 My Mom taking a picture of me eating pizza crust

19.  My Mom taking a picture of me eating liver and onions
019 My Mom taking a picture of me eating liver and onions

20.  My Mom taking a picture of me dipping bread in olive oil
020 My Mom taking a picture of me dipping bread in oil

21.  My Mom taking a picture of me ordering cheese
021 My Mom taking a picture of me ordering cheese

22.  My Mom taking a picture of me eating cheese
022 My Mom taking a picture of me eating cheese

23.  Me taking a picture of my Mom ordering cheese
023 Me taking a picture of my Mom ordering cheese

24.  My Mom taking a picture of me sitting in a chair
024 My Mom taking a picture of me sitting in a chair

25.  My Mom taking another picture of me sitting in a chair
025 My Mom taking a picture of me sitting in another chair

26.  My Mom taking a picture of me looking at an iron gate
026 My Mom taking a picture of me looking at an iron gate

27.  My Mom taking a picture of me looking at a napkin holder
027 My Mom taking a picture of me looking at a napkin holder

28.  My Mom taking a picture of me contemplating suicide
028 My Mom taking a picture of me contimplating suicide

29.  My Mom taking a picture of a lady with a bag over her head
029 My Mom taking a picture of a lady with a bag over her head

30.  My Mom taking a picture of a police car
030 My Mom taking a picture of a police car

31.  My Mom taking another picture of a TV
032 My Mom taking a picture of another TV

32.  My Mom taking a picture of snails
033 My Mom taking a picture of snails

33.  My Mom taking a picture of a dog
040 My Mom taking a picture of a dog

34.  My Mom taking a picture of a cow
034 My Mom taking a picture of a cow

35.  My Mom taking a picture of a horse
035 My Mom taking a picture of a horse

36.  Me taking a picture of a seagull 
036 Me taking a picture of a seagull

37.  A close-up picture of a seagull 
037 A Close Up of a seagull

38.  My Mom taking 86 pictures of a sunset
038 My Mom taking 86 pictures of a sunset

39.  A picture of me and my Mom at the Trevi Fountain in Rome
039 Me and my Mom at the trevi fountain in Rome

40.  My Mom taking one last picture of a TV
040 My Mom taking yet another picture of a TV