40 Must See Photos of Italy

Three years ago, I took my Mom on a two week vacation to Italy.  It’s always been a dream of hers to visit the motherland, so I was happy to be in a position to finally see that her dream was fulfilled.

Despite a few tense moments to be expected when a mother and her 32 year old son team up to travel, it was a great trip.  We traveled to Rome, toured the Colosseum, visited the Vatican, took a train to Sicily, walked the beaches, drove the countryside, and ate gelato until our hearts were content.

Whether you’ve personally been to Italy or have only seen the beautiful country through photos, I think you’ll find a mother-son take to be a fresh perspective.  I previously posted 25 must see photos of Italy back in March.  This time I’m upping the ante.  Without further ado, may I present 40 must see photos of Italy like you’ve never seen before.

1.  My Mom taking a picture of an Italy tour guide book

2.  My Mom taking a picture of a map of Italy

3.  My Mom taking a picture of me reading a brochure

4.  My Mom taking a picture of a pine tree

5.  My Mom taking a picture of a barren tree

6.  My Mom taking a picture of a TV

7.  My Mom taking a picture of a monk

8.  My Mom taking a picture of a nun

9.  My Mom taking a picture of Jesus

10.  My Mom taking a picture of a severed head

11.  Me taking a picture of a severed head

12.  My Mom taking a picture of a fruit salad

13.  My Mom taking a picture of a Coke can

14.  My Mom taking a picture of a McDonald’s dessert menu

15.  My Mom taking a picture of red chili peppers

16.  My Mom taking a picture of oranges

17.  Me taking a picture of bread

18.  My Mom taking a picture of me eating pizza crust

19.  My Mom taking a picture of me eating liver and onions

20.  My Mom taking a picture of me dipping bread in olive oil

21.  My Mom taking a picture of me ordering cheese

22.  My Mom taking a picture of me eating cheese

23.  Me taking a picture of my Mom ordering cheese

24.  My Mom taking a picture of me sitting in a chair

25.  My Mom taking another picture of me sitting in a chair

26.  My Mom taking a picture of me looking at an iron gate

27.  My Mom taking a picture of me looking at a napkin holder

28.  My Mom taking a picture of me contemplating suicide

29.  My Mom taking a picture of a lady with a bag over her head

30.  My Mom taking a picture of a police car

31.  My Mom taking another picture of a TV

32.  My Mom taking a picture of snails

33.  My Mom taking a picture of a dog

34.  My Mom taking a picture of a cow

35.  My Mom taking a picture of a horse

36.  Me taking a picture of a seagull 

37.  A close-up picture of a seagull 

38.  My Mom taking 86 pictures of a sunset

39.  A picture of me and my Mom at the Trevi Fountain in Rome

40.  My Mom taking one last picture of a TV

The Emmaus House

Man, you dimwits.  I don’t know what’s happening.  I can’t sleep.  It’s 1:47 AM.  It’s raining.  Heavy thunderstorms and crashing lightening.  I have the windows opened.  There’s a nice breeze and it’s rather peaceful.  I like thunderstorms.  There’s probably some sort of metaphor in there to sum up my life.  Heavy thunderstorms and crashing lightening bring me peace.

Listen, I joke around a lot.  This is a humor blog primarily but sometimes you have to know when to put jokes aside.  This is one of those times.

I just wrote to some missionary friends of mine that are living in Haiti.  Sent them a message on Facebook at 12:48 AM.  The one gal responded immediately at exactly 1:00 AM.  What in the world is she doing up at 1:00 AM?  What possible reasons could there be for her to still be awake?  Probably for the same reasons as me.  She has a lot on her mind.

My friend Jillian and her husband Hunter are responsible for taking care of dozens of orphans in the city of Cap-Haitien.  Tragic cases.  Kids who lost their parents to earthquakes, kids who had their parents give them up because they can’t afford to feed them.  It’s a real mess.  It’s sad.  It would break your heart if you only knew their stories.

I know firsthand because I went on a food and medical relief trip to the Haitian orphanage back in March of 2012.  I paid for the trip myself.  I was doing well financially at the time and I didn’t feel comfortable asking people for money to fund my trip.  It’s just a weird thing with me.  I don’t like asking people for money if it’s for my sake.  I’d rather starve.

I was working on a movie at the time that just started gearing up.  When I returned from the mission trip, I had lost my job.  Budget cuts.  I didn’t make the cut.  The trip cost me thousands and thousands of dollars because of the lost work.  It’s partially why I’m in the hole so much right now, but I don’t care.  I’d do it all over again because my poverty is nothing like the poverty these poor kids have to go through.  I have a roof over my head and a soft pillow to fall asleep at night.

God, I’m actually tearing up right now as I’m typing this.  Honestly, I’m a mess.  I’m sober.  That’s the problem.  Sure, that’s it.  Knock yourself out with some whiskey, kid, but it doesn’t change certain things no matter how much you drink yourself silly.  I can’t get these beautiful Haitian kids off my mind.  And that’s a good thing on a stormy night for a wild insomniac like myself.  Compassion can go a long ways.

I don’t have money right now.  I’m honestly broke.  But what I do have is an small audience of people that are reading my stuff.  Writing is cool, the recent recognition is nice.  I’m honored that I’ve been able to connect with so many strangers through my words.  But to me the real gift and the real talent is what a person is willing to give back if they’ve been blessed with a certain talent.

I have a platform at the moment being that I was just Freshly Pressed.  That platform might not last long.  I’m busy working on another film project and it consumes all my time.  The blog is gonna take a hit. People move onto the next funny blog or the next interesting thing if you’re too idle.  People want entertainment, they expect performance.  Rightfully so.  That’s fair.  I won’t be performing much in the next few months I’m afraid, so I’ll lose some people along the way.

I’m tired as hell.  I haven’t slept much the past week.  Tomorrow, the clouds will lift and the feeling of peace will pass.  It’s gonna hurt like a sonofabitch.  I have to be up in a few hours.  But this is important.  One day or one week of my restlessness could mean a happy and joyful life for one of these Haitian kids.  No pressure.  I can’t sleep.  So I’m up late writing, asking you guys for help.

The following links I’m about to share are religious based.  I don’t care what your religious affiliation is or isn’t.  I’ll be honest.  I avoid talking about religion because I’ve never seen one topic divide so many people.  I’m not interested in dividing folks.  I’m interested in bringing people together if I have an opportunity to do so.  I have an opportunity.  Right now at 1:47 on a stormy night in Pittsburgh.  So please consider checking out these links and donating some money if you’re able.  You hear it all the time, but it’s true.  Any amount no matter how small will help.  And if you’re not able to donate or don’t feel moved to donate, that’s cool too.  I can’t donate either at the moment, but consider finding another way to help out people out if you’re able.  Be good, little dimwits.  Bless your hearts.

1.  Emmaus House – A blurb from Hunter & Jillian’s website:  “A home to transition young adults from Cap Haitien Children’s Home to independent living. To provide life skills, professional skills, and education to afford them the opportunity to be faithful, strong, knowledgeable, followers of Christ and able to spread the gospel in Haiti.”

2.  Jillian’s Blog – Jillian shares confessions of what it’s like to be a missionary.  Honest, powerful read.  Check it out.  Tell Jillian the Dimwit sent you, and give her a hard time.  And tell her to go to bed!  1:00 AM?  Crazy talk.

3.  The Emmaus House Facebook Page – Lots of updates, stories and profiles on the kids, and other cool stuff.  Give it a Like please.

4.  Hunter’s Photography Site – Hunter’s the man!  C’mon, his name is Hunter.  He takes great photos and let’s you experience Haiti through the lens of his camera.  Give his blog a look and a follow.  He’s a big nerd, and gets all juiced up about those sorts of things like most of us tend to do.

Okay, well I think I can rest peacefully now and catch a few hours of sleep.  I just really needed to do this.  It’s been on my mind for a while now.  Hunter and Jillian are such great people, and the life of a missionary is not an easy one.

I kid you not, the rain just stopped.  There’s another metaphor in there or something.  Time for bed, but not before I leave you with a few photos from my trip.  I have a lot more but this will do for now.

Take care dimwits.  Thanks for being awesome.

Freshly Pressed – SMACK!

My, my, my.  Would you lookie here.  Seems things just got mighty fresh up in this crazy madhouse.  I’ve just been Freshly Pressed for the first time.  Let’s hope it goes a little better than another first time of mine that ended up with a lot of crying and a swift slap to the face.  SMACK!  You pig!  How was I supposed to know that girls don’t like it when a person makes oinking noises just as the mood starts to turn romantic?  I was only trying to keep things loose and fun.

My, my, my.  Freshly Pressed.  Pretty stinking fresh all right.

I was told to dust off the welcome mat and be prepared for a lot of new readers.   I just started working on a new TV pilot and it’s been kicking my ass.  70 hours of work in the past 5 days.   My apologies, but I didn’t have a whole lot of time to prepare.  I’ve barely had time to eat or to sleep, but of course I did make time for a few tall glasses of whiskey last night.  I got rip roaring drunk with my former room mate, and we had a grand, old time from the parts of the evening that I can remember.  It made for a very fun 14 hours of work today.  And that is why I’m the dimmest of all the dimwits.  A real, genuine, dingaling ding dong to the max.  Better get used to it.

For you newbies, I’d advise you to read the post I just did called “Chris Hinton’s Pathway To Success.”  It’s as good a place to start as any.  If you make it through that one, well, then you’re just the sorta company we like to keep around here.   Crazy and mad and fun, and plenty of oinking noises to go around for everyone.  SMACK!  It’s a real nice crew of diverse folks, and I think you’ll all get along just fine if you choose to stick around.

Welp, you dimwits.  I’m tired and I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow.  I was just gonna leave it at thank you, but as is the case with me, a simple thank you is never quite enough to show my appreciation.

Freshly Pressed is recycling an old post, so thought I’d go ahead and do some recycling of my own.  So how’s about an old photo of me wearing a sleeveless fur sweater that I bought from the women’s section of the thrift store, showing off the chest hairs a little bit for a sexy, fresh photo shoot I did for a Brut by Fabergé men’s cologne ad.  It’s autographed for you and everything, so feel free to pin it to your fridge or hang it in your cubicle at work.  For you my fellow dimwits.  A big thank you.

I’ll be replying to comments, mixing it up a bit with you rowdy, kind folks whenever I get some time.  It might be a while.  But for now, I have to polish off a tall glass of Franzia boxed wine to cap off a very successful day.  Let’s hope I don’t spill it all over my bed like the last time.  Wine is impossible to get out of your sheets, and it looks like a crime scene took place in my bed.  This is probably a bad time to mention to the new readers that I’m single.  Screw it.  I’m going with it and letting ‘er rip.  Gotta run.  Welcome.

Chris Hinton’s Pathway To Success

Ahhhhh, I’m so pumped right now!  I just got a call an hour ago for work.  This is incredibly exciting news.  I can’t even begin to tell you why, but I’m going to try anyhow.

I don’t know many of the details about the project just yet.  I just know it’s a TV pilot of some sort and I have to read the script and begin preparing for work tonight.  I’ll be working on the project the next three days and possibly the next few weeks and beyond.  That’s how it goes in the film industry.  One minute you’re busy writing and creating a blog, avoiding friends and social obligations to focus all your energies into doing something that you really love, and the next minute you get a call at 6:30 PM on a Friday evening.

“What are you doing this weekend?  How about the next few months?  You busy, or you wanna start scouting tomorrow on a TV pilot?”

Hell yeah, I wanna start scouting tomorrow on a TV pilot!  If you dimwits only knew how challenging the past few months have been for me.  I’ve been out of work for a long time.  Without boring you with all the details, the state of Pennsylvania had a major snafu with our film tax incentive this year, which meant that me and a lot of my friends were without work.  No work means funds dwindle quickly, bills go unpaid, and you eat lots of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  And worse yet, it leaves you with no money to drink booze.  Being broke sucks a fat one.

Boo hoo, you putz.  Get another job.  But it’s not that easy, and I didn’t want to get another job making $7 an hour.  It’s a waste of time.  I realize some people have to do it to support their families, which kudos to them, but I don’t have a family to support, so I’d rather have my bills go unpaid than work at a crummy job taking home $200 a week.  Instead of working at a job for slave wages, I used the opportunity to do some writing and maybe begin establishing my future.

The film industry is a great gig, but it’s too unpredictable.  One year you make great money, and the next year you make jack crap.  I’m terrible at budgeting money, so this year I ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, holed myself up in my apartment, and wrote my ass off the past few months trying to establish a future for the next time I’m out of work.

I don’t know where any of it’s headed.  Maybe there isn’t a future in writing for me, but I have to find out.  So that’s why I started this blog.  To practice writing, to put my creative talents to work, and to build up a network of fellow writers, artists, and creative spirits.

It seems to be going well so far.  I’ve gotten nearly 2,000 followers in two months, and the  feedback has been very kind.  It gives me encouragement to keep writing, so I just wanted to say thanks.  The peanut butter and jelly sandwiches taste extra good after hearing things like, “This is my new favorite blog.”  “You’re really hilarious!”  “OMG, I want to totally marry you and have six of your curly headed babies.”

Well, all right.  This has been a very good day.  It’s maybe premature, but I’m going to use my credit card to go buy some whiskey tonight, and read through a script until 3 in the morning, make some notes, wake up 3 hours later, and go to work.  I might not be available to reply to comments as much in the next few weeks, but I’ll try my best, because your comments are what kept me going these past few months.  It might sound like BS, but it’s true.  So keep commenting if you’d like, but don’t take offense if I don’t respond for a while.  It just means I’m busy with work, or drunk on whiskey, dancing around my apartment naked at 2 AM, which happens more than I’d like to admit.

Anyway, since you guys have been so cool to me, I wanted to leave you with my keys for a pathway to success.  I realize someone who just spent the past few months eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches probably isn’t the best spokesperson for success, but I can feel it just around the bend.  I think I’m a few years away from accomplishing some big things, so I’m going to let you in on my secrets so you can achieve success as well.

It’s time to go buy some whiskey and read a script.  I’ll leave you with Chris Hinton’s Pathway To Success.  Print it out, hang it on your fridge.  Look at it everyday.  Cheers, you dimwits.  Thanks for being awesome.  

20 Question And Answers With the Dimwit – An Apology

Hello fellow bloggers and you poor, unlucky souls that had the misfortune to stumble across this blog.  Thought I’d take a break in the action from Photoshopping ferocious wolves and writing fictional stories about the Baha Men for a minute if that’s all right.

I was nominated for three awards this past week.  It’s an honor, really.  The only awards that I’ve ever won are things like the “Hustle” award in basketball, and “Most Likely to End Up In Jail.”  Nailed both of them suckers, too.  My parents were proud to get that phone call at 2 AM, let me tell you.

The nominations mean a lot, they really do.  However, I’m sad to report that I have to decline.  I was really conflicted as how to go about it, and I even wrote to a seasoned blogger friend to see if she could offer up some advice since I’m kinda new around here.

I figured I owed some sort of explanation as to why I’m declining the nominations.  So here it is.  I’ve been busy writing.  Crazy busy.  Maddening days and maddening nights typing away at the keyboard and Photoshopping.

Pretty soon I have to go back to working on movies, back to a job that pays.  So I’ve been trying to get the next few months all finished up, so I can still post a little madness for you all when I’m working.  I don’t want your lives to all the sudden lose purpose and meaning when the Dimwit’s gone.   That would be something awful.  So I’m declining the nominations so I can keep plowing forward and remain focused on writing.  Hope you understand.

But of course just like a thank you is never enough for a madman like myself, an apology is never enough either.  I’ve done some digging.  I have all sorts of keepsakes that I’ve saved over the years – journals, high school essays, drawings, embarrassing poetry.   Well, I managed to dig up a good one.  I found this handout from my Speech class in 9th grade.  It’s a list of 20 personal questions and answers.  I noticed on the rules for the award nominations, they had you fill out 10 questions about yourself, so I thought I’d share my personal answers with my fellow dimwits as sort of my apology.  It’s outdated, sure.  But honestly, the answers haven’t changed all that much in *gulp* 20 years.  I was as ornery then as I am now.

I was a teacher’s nightmare, and boy did I like to give them fits.   I was a smartass, the class clown, cracking jokes, disrupting class, skipping classes, wondering around the hallways, and skipping school.  But I was also the kid who took the smelly girl to the school dance when I found out she had been taking showers in the mornings at school because her parents couldn’t afford things like soap and shampoo.  So even though I gave them fits, the teachers cut me some slack because they knew I had a kind heart and meant well overall.  I also graduated top of my class, so suck it teachers!!!  That was my final hoorah for them, and boy did it drive them mad.

Well, I tend to ramble in case you haven’t noticed, so I better wrap it up.  Below are my 20 personal questions and answers.  For any of my *gulp* elderly? ancient? readers who have trouble seeing with your cataracts, you can click on the image, and it should open up nice and big.   Here are my 20 personal answers….

There you have it.   A little history and background on the Dimwit dingaling.  I’ve got some good stuff coming up.  More Photoshop tutorials, famous guest bloggers, online reviews, an advice column, and lots more madness.

I do appreciate the nominations.  Feel free to nominate me for more if you’d like.  Just let me know, and I’ll give you a plug or something in return.  Below are the three, kind folks who nominated me.  Please be sure to visit their blogs and go give them all sorts of fits.  I will do the same.

1.  Sassy Panties – She has a avatar-whoozy-ma-whatzit photo of a child picking it’s nose.  She’s also my kindred spirit and she’s funny.  She likes to curse like a sailor, but don’t let that stop you if you’re more of a tame tiger.  She also has a kind heart.   She would be delighted if you stopped by, I’m sure.

2.  KiralynBlue – She’s an over-analyzer, ninja squirrel wrangler, and urban fantasy author.  Those are her words, not mine if you can believe it.  Does sound intriguing.  I’d suggest you give it a click.

3.  Aspiring Writer 22 – Meet Herminia Chow.  She’s 22 and an aspiring writer incase you haven’t gathered from her blog title.  She’s also Canadian, but we won’t hold that against her.  She seems lovely, so show her some support if you would.

Cool, well thanks again.  And sorry if I’ve missed any replies to your comments.  I do read them all and try to answer them as best I can, but my mean boss is a slave driver (and also a dimwit.)

Cheers to you all.