Get this you dimwits. I’ll get to the funny business here in a second. I have a bunch of funny stuff coming up, but I have to get down to some other bu$ine$s first.
I think I’m getting the boot. All my WordAds are starting to disappear. POOF! Just like that. I think someone reported me or something, just because I told them to stick it up their greedy, corporate arse in my previous post. Unbelievable. I thought I lived in a free country, but I guess not. This is tyranny. I re-read their terms of service, and I haven’t violated anything. Nowhere in the terms of service does it say that a person can’t tell them to stick it up their greedy, corporate arse.
That’s what I get for listening to rap. I never liked rap before. I just started listening to it a few years ago just when I go running, or when I pull up to a red light in my Toyota Camry and crank some Jay-Z to impress the gal that pulled up beside me. It never works, by the way. I think I need bigger rims.
I’m back to running this week and I’ve been listening to a lot of rap again. I guess Eminem must’ve rubbed off on me, and I had to open my big mouth and slam corporate America. Thanks a lot Slim Shady. Now I’m back to ZERO dollars earned off of writing in 8 years. I’m never gonna afford that big ass yacht.
Well, the thing is, I actually don’t mind the ads. I’ve watched several of them myself. Since I write about trying to save the children and other inspirational topics, the ads are usually pertaining to outreach programs and community oriented stuff. There was a really good one by Adrian Grenier from the show “Entourage.” He’s a really cool dude, and he’s trying to make a difference in the world by using his celebrity status. So here I am trying to make a difference in the world myself. I lost 15 pounds writing last month trying to save the children, and I get the boot. Makes a lot of sense.
I already have a plan if that’s the case. I’m hoping that it’s not, but if I get terminated, then I’ll just go to WordAds biggest competitor and add them to my blog. Whatever. I’ve survived 8 years of writing without getting paid, and I’ll continue writing regardless. I’m a determined mofo. I’ve got ideas for 6 books, so I’ll get paid one way or another. I just thought it’d be nice to have a little extra pocket change to eat at Arby’s.
Anywho, I created this rap persona a few years ago called “The Kasual Kid.” That’s me, or him in the photo above. I keep a flow book, and I spit mad rhymes every now and again. I rap about things like shower loofas and the hard life growing up in the country tipping cows. Maybe someday I’ll dig out a few flows and share them with you. But I have more business to attend to for right now.
This is a thank you to the folks that stopped reading and dropped me like a bad habit. I’m about to share some really funny stuff here in the next few weeks / months. At least I hope it’s funny. Some of you will probably think so. The others that didn’t wait it out through all my crazy, mad stories, or got offended by a few things they disagreed with, well, they’ll miss out on all the funny stuff.
I use it for motivation. I like to know people are reading. It does mean a lot to me. You guys and gals have been very kind with your comments, likes, shares, ect. But I also like to know that certain people aren’t reading. It gives me the drive to want to become a better writer. I gave a thanks to all of you dearest dimwits who stuck around in the previous post, but this is a thanks to those that left. It’s about to get real fun around here again.
One last thing. I’d like to reconcile with WordAds if possible. I don’t like to bite the hand that feeds me $7.33. They don’t have to pay anything. It’s a nice service, really. So here’s an ad I made for them to promote their business and try to smooth things over.
Take care you dimwits. I will do the same.
you were describing the hard life out in the country and i couldn’t help but immediately think of weird al’s “amish paradise” – wow that’s one hard life. lol :) here’s to hoping things get smoothed over with wordads and the funny to come.
Yes! Weird Al. Almost forgot all about him. I’m gonna have to watch that video now. Thanks!
Ha! Kindred souls! I just started running again this week after a two-month hiatus. And Eminem is my constant companion on a run. (Listening to country music and Eminem is very grounding for a North American in the Middle East). AND I also get paid nothing for what I write! Coincidence? I think not. Keep up the writing. I think your boat is no more than a few years away.
Hi there kindred soul! Just got back from a run. It’s like 90 degrees out, but I guess I shouldn’t complain. I would imagine it gets rather hot in the Middle East. Thanks for the encouragement. I’ll keep writing, and when I get the boat, you’re invited to come along. And if you get the boat first, then well, I hope I’d be invited, too. Cheers.
Hahahaha Once they see the ad you made for them, WordAds will definitely make you CEO :)
For sure! I’m waiting for an email any second now. Waiting….waiting…still waiting. It’s the weekend so maybe I’ll get one tomorrow.
Let’s keep our fingers crossed :D
None can doubt the veatciry of this article.
Hey, whomever took our best buds cash, bring it back. No questions asked. By the way, you may want to join us Dimwits; something here may strike your fancy. Myself? Why heck, I’m taking up rap as my next correspondence course. My husband, Ralph, has promised to learn photoshop so he can whizbang the heck out of my next letter to Miss Martha Stewart. I want to name my new cupcake recipe by number, the one she wore while teaching in the test kitchen at Camp Cupcake. I just love the gumption of that gal!
By the way. I own at least ten pairs of Merrell’s and I get outside daily. Currently I am installing a brick pathway wearing a pair of pink Proterra’s. I got a matching hat, too. This ad mention should increase your corporate profit tenfold. Wolverine is gonna love rap before they know it. Vibram is going to shake, rattle and roll the dice and counter the offer.
Signed and sealed by Ralph’s wife,
You are CRAZY and I love it, Mrs. Ralph! Too, too funny. Thanks for the good laugh!
Yacht? I’m heading to Canadian Tire as we speak to purchase an inflatable dingy for the pond across the road. I can launch it from the dock. I am also going to purchase paddles, a life jacket ( in case my dingy should deflate) on account that I don’t swim or float to my recollection. On full moon nights, me and my inflatable dingy will float under a mantle of a kadrillion stars…. Who needs a yacht?
I like the way you think! But what the heck is a dingy? I’ll have to look that one up. Maybe I’ll buy a dingy for the world grand tour and we can float dingys across the lake underneath a kadrillion stars. That would make for a good story and a good time.
Sounds like an excellent adventure……Dingy must be Canadianese.
What a coincidence…I made zilch off of my writing too. But seeing how commenting on your posts is the most I’ve written in months, it’s to be expected. Maybe that’s what my blog should be…just comments about your blog. Thanks for being funny. This post reminded me of Da Ali G show and then I laughed more…
I could use that $7.33 too. Retirement is very expensive.
I’m retiring, too! Sigh. Only like 40 more years to go. Guess I better get saving. $7.33 in 40 years will be worth like 20 cents. Dang.
Is it mere coincidence that we both posted new bits on the same day?? No sir, I think not. I know that I can always count on you to keep it real, AND you didn’t disappoint. Sure, it’d be nice to get paid…Hell, it’d be real nice, but I’m not quitting my day job anytime soon in hopes of snagging the next ‘Sell my soul to the devil for a sparkly vampire’ book deal. Great post my friend. Keep on plugging.
Thanks darling! I already sold my soul for a 4 ounce container of Mott’s applesauce back in the 1st grade (see my FAQs.) Oh well. I’ll keep writing and see where it leads, if anywhere. It’s a labor of love. Payment would be nice, but I’ll keep writing regardless. You keep on plugging, too.
Rock On Kasual Kid, Rock On!
When you come visit me, I will take you snipe hunting!!! :)
Ha! Nice try. I went snipe hunting once before, and that was the last time I’ll ever do that. But I’ll eat pickles with ya, FBG.
Sounds good to me!! And how do you feel about olives??
I love olives! Honestly, there’s not a food I can think of at the moment that I don’t like. I was one of those annoying kids that liked to eat his broccoli and I would trade my Ho-Hos away at school for this one kid’s sliced green peppers. I did it mostly to piss the other kids off, but I actually like green peppers.
Short answer: Yes to olives!
I always wonder about guys that are picky eaters. lol
You should set up a “Help a Dimwit” fund. You may double the 7.33! Hey, that would be a good meal at Panera…. :) Actually I would pay to read this, you know….
Well, I spent the $7.33 on spaghetti because I’m broke right now. But I’ll be back to work soon and can afford those lavish meals at Panera. YUM! Thanks for the compliment!
Hahahahaha you go, Dimmy! I fucking love that ad, for real. Holy shizballs. If you ever need anything, I’ve got mad street skills … we might even be able to make an even $10 and go to Mcdonalds.
Yes, my Tumbleweed! I’m relying on you, because I can’t seem to keep my big mouth shut. I’m always getting in trouble. I got booted from ads on Blogspot too when I had a blog on their site. Man oh man. I need a big, old shoe for this mouth. Or perhaps I just need to go into advertising myself with my killer graphic design skills :)
OK, lost many episodes on your blog, but life out there is sometimes more urgent than your intresting writings. I guess reading and liking, swifts the counters of WordAds and cents fall from heaven. And today I open my PC and read this. Can you actually make a living out of blogging? I mean make a living and having a real life away from the PC screen.
Hope it changes soon, otherwise I am going down to WordAds headquarters to kick some balls and if I score a goal I might even ask them for any dimes bearing my name. That would surely scare the $$$$ out of the them
Get ’em Vassillis! I think very few people make a living from blogging. I don’t wanna be one of those folks. It seems you almost would have to be chained to a computer to be truly successful at it and I’d much rather hang out with the frogs. :) I just figured it’d be nice to pick up a little extra cash. Mostly I blog for practice and to network. And look, here I found you. I’m taking you up on that offer to Greece, buddy! One of these days…
அமலன ர யன ஃப ர ன ண ட வ னவ ன இந தப பத வ க க ப ய பத ல க ற ங கள .உங கள டன என மதத த ட ஸ கஸ ச ய ய ந ன ர ட ய க இல ல . உங கள க க loco standi இல ல . எனக க உபய கம ன வ ல கள பல உள ளன.//ம லக ரணம ஒர க ற ப ப ட ட ச த யனர இழ த ழ ல ச ய யவ ண ட ம என ப ர மணர எழ த வ த தத .//ப ர மணர எழ த வ க கவ ல ல . வ ண ட ம ன ல மன வ க க றல ம . அவர ப ர மணர அல ல. அத வ ம நடந த பல ஆய ரம ஆண ட கள ஆக வ ட டன. இங க வந த சம மன ல ல மல ஆஜர க உங கள க க அன மத ய ல ல .அன ப டன ,ட ண ட ர கவன
Okay, I am cracking up here. Thank you ever so much for sharing your trip to Italy with your mum. I very much liked her photos. Especially the one of the severed head.
The severed head is a classic! I think it was John the Baptist if I recall. Thanks ever so much for viewing. Cheers.
You are hilarious.
Thanks my dear! Also thanks, because you just reminded me that I haven’t been to your site in a while. I’m headed over now to cause some trouble. Okay, no. I’ll be on my best behavior. I haven’t listened to any rap in several days.
I haven’t stopped reading.
I’m still holding you to that marriage proposal.
I’m a pastor’s kid with issues. I told you that once already, right?
I need to sort through them, but for now, I just push them aside and stay busy with other things.
thanks for keeping it real!
Yes! All the other gals have flaked. Guess they don’t like my drunk emails at 3 AM. We PK’s would make a good pairing, I think. God have mercy on the rest of the world’s souls. XOXO
Holy Hell! You’re following me!
The type of physician I would like to work for is a Pediatrician. Pediatrician’s sptlaicey is to work with children. I have been working with children for a long time mainly because I work at a daycare facility. I’ve got to a point where I feel like I can handle anything that will come my way with them. It would also leave me feeling good at the end of the day to know that I have helped in some way to make a child feel better.The type of physician I would not care to work for is a Epidemiologist. Epidemiologist’s specialize in epidemics caused by infections agents and also work with sexually transmitted diseases. I feel if I were to work in this type of sptlaicey I would be putting my self at risk of exposure to these infectious agents. Also I would be focusing a lot of my time on trying to not get infected instead of having a steady mind on what I was actually supposed to be doing.
மன தக கழ வ மன தன ச மக க ம அவலம இந த ய நகரங கள ல நடக க ம க க ய க ரணம dry lratine த ன . dry lratine ஐ இந த ய வ க க அற ம கப பட த த யத ய ர என ற ய ர வத ஆர ய ச ச ச ய த ச ல ல ங கள .