Suppose a young man with a wild imagination and too much time on his hands went to a greasy spoon diner one evening at 3 AM. Suppose the same young man grew tired of all the belligerent drunks and lot lizards that usually frequent a greasy spoon diner late at night, so he began to surf the interwebs on his smart phone to occupy his time until his gyro omelette and rye toast were ready to be served.
Suppose that while killing time surfing the interwebs, the young man came across some famous quotes and later stumbled upon the humorous website, Damn You Autocorrect. Now suppose the imaginative young man with too much time on his hands got to thinking:
“What if all the famous authors, poets, artists, philosophers, and great leaders of history had to use a smart phone to type their inspiring quotes? Would their quotes sound any less smart? Would they be any less inspiring? What would the quotes read like if these great historical figures had to put down their pen and paper, and use the same means of communication that we use today – texting, tweeting, emailing, and other forms of social media? What if the famous quotes were subject to autocorrect?”
Suppose the young man’s thoughts were to materialize. I suppose you would get something like this. Ten famous quotes given the autocorrect treatment, volume two.
This was perfectly hysterical :) thanks
You’re welcome! Thanks for the nice comment.
auto-correct error perhaps, but, the measure of a man’s french fries really is a good measure of his worth… especially if he shares his fries.
Funny stuff my friend!
Yes! I’m a sucker for a good french fry. And also a bad french fry. McDonald’s being my favorite. I’d share with you John, being that you’re a swell guy and all. Maybe. Thanks my friend.
You are too clever to be a dimwit! :-)
And you are too kind. I’m dimwitted in a lot of other ways though. One of those people that are sorta smart but can’t seem to manage their way through everyday life – spilling food on their shirt, losing their car in the parking lot, forgetting to RSVP for a good friend’s wedding, losing the invitation, forgetting the date, and missing their wedding like I just did this past weekend. Whoops. I’m a dimwit :)
You missed the wedding because you really didn’t want to go for the wedding. Not because you are a dimwit. Losing your car in the parking lot? Well if you were in Kenya I would say it was because you drive a Toyota. I don’t have an excuse for you. Maybe a fifth of a dimwit? :P
so good, love ending my night with a good laugh =)
It’s the best to go to bed on a good note. Well, feel free to come back anytime. We like to laugh a lot around here. Bunch of dimwits! Thanks for the nice comment.
HAHAHAHAHA omg I just shit my pants! Thank you Dimmi for giving me a nice laugh to come home to after work :) I think the responses are the best parts.
You’re welcome tumbleweed! Glad I could give ya a nice shitting of the pants. Hoping the job is going well, dear. Muah! XOXOXOXOXOXOX
Learning a ton from these neat arsctlei.
I falafel for having to tell you this, but there are 650 calories in one serving of Greek omelette with gyro meat.
WHAT?! Well, if you woulda seen this place, it’s more than likely that number was doubled. But I’ll be lambed if it wasn’t the best food I’ve ever had! Cheers.
The way is not in the sky. The way is in the fart.
Thanks Susan Sassi! I’m working on the next few volumes and you just gave me some inspiration. Farts. It’s going to be a real gas.
oooooohhhh… Gas! I GET IT!!! hahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahha :)
How about “The CEO of Yahoo, after revoking the right to give her employees the option to work from home, gave herself a $50,000 boner….wait.. bonus I meant bonus!!
Made my morning :)
Thanks, that’s nice to hear my friend. Cheers.
Love Good Eats! Alton Brown is a cooking guenis. The man knows the science behind the cooking. He’s like the bastard love child of Bill Nye the Science Guy and Julia Child!
Mighty useful. Make no mistake, I apaceripte it.
They were all strangely true, despite the autocorrect though.
These great minds with all their sage wisdom. Even autocorrect can’t slow ’em down. I’m thinking of doing some Bukowski quotes, but honestly, his are so bizarre to begin with, that I could just quote them verbatim and it would sound like he typed them on a phone. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Consider Ernest Hemingway aswell. This paragon of poetry rhymes “art” with “fart” (I’m being startlingly serious here) and is revered as a legend in literature.
XoXoXo and so on. A game of x’s and o’s would be rather interesting with you.
Napoleon and Darvin are perfectly correct. I wonder what this auto correct would come up with if you insert the famous Napoleone quote: ” I am coming home, don’t take a bath”
Ha! Maybe I’ll give it a go for the next one. Cheers.
I’m sure a nice creamy chocolate cock WOULD do a lot for a lot of people
That’s the word on the street. Hepburn sounds like she’s speaking from experience :)
Good point. I hadn’t thhguot about it quite that way. :)
An ingellitent point of view, well expressed! Thanks!
A picture is worth a 1000 whores.
I bet a lot of people nodded their head in agreement at that one.
Ha! Reading some of Napoleon’s quotes, it wouldn’t surprise me if he said something on par with that. The guy was a nut, told it like it was. Cheers J.D.
My youngest (11) is dyslexic. Yesterday she was using her older sisters phone to text us even though she was just outside the door. She shouted in ” Sorry about the spellings I didn’nt spell it that way, it just keeps changing what i write”. Turns out she was wrong and the phone was correcting her!
Ha! Thanks for sharing the funny story. That’s awesome. Some of my high school and college essays look like they were written through text messages using autocorrect. SO MUCH RED INK. Good times. :)
nyahaha technology has got to have a downside :)
Most definitely. I’m a little old school with technology, so it should be interesting when I’m older trying to figure the new gadgets out. Cheers.
Auto correct at its finest. Read these at least 10 times already — laughing more each time. Good stuff!
Mother of the Dimwit. Such an honorable title, I’m sure. Thanks!
Keep ’em coming, I cannot get enough of these. (By the way, how was the omelet?)
The omelet was amazing! Well, not really, the gyro meat was dry, and the eggs had too much butter. But hey, it was cheap and the ambiance of 3-toothed ladies with side ponytails more than made up for it. Good old Pittsburgh. I’ve got some more quotes coming up. Thanks for checking them out my man. Cheers.
You know, maybe I should put my autocorrect back on… I’m missing some prime opportunities to look like a jackass. Thanks for the laugh!
You’re welcome, dear. Yeah, turn it back on! Have a ball. I’m the worst with texting because I write these lengthy novels that are all over the place, and people usually don’t reply or they just type back “k.” It’s sorta my strategy to get someone to cease and desist if they text me too much. So feel free to try that one out too.
Reblogged this on Theft and Sorcery and commented:
Yep, this tickled me!
Thanks for the reblog Erica! Much appreciated.
Articles like these put the consumer in the driver seat-very imntotapr.
Needed that laugh, thanks!
You’re very welcome. Thanks for reading and for the nice comment.
This made my day =)
Well, all right! Your comment made mine, so thanks. That’s nice of you to say.
Boom shakalacka. You would be great at helping me come up with autocorrected quotes with your fruggskin brillicream. Cheers!
why mess with perfection…. you nailed this perfectly
oh my.. i open your blog almost EVERYDAY. you are my fsahion inspiration, tante. keep blogging aaigghtt? the thing is, if this blog makes you happy, then don’t ever quit having fun. :)*what happens if everyone dresses badly? AAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHHHHH.
Reading this gem capped my day off so very nicely that I had to tweet-pimp the link out to the masses. Well, at least 916 people. Not sure how many are actually people. But it’s the thought that counts, right?!
Pimpin’ ain’t easy, so I appreciate it BeckSTAR! A ballerina, drumming, rock star pimp. BAM. I’ll send ya a message later, but I’d like to return the favor. Thanks.
I’ll be on the look out buddy!
may we all dim together, wit on
Just seeing “LMAO!” next to the Dalai Lama’s jovial face is enough to make me laugh.
a good cock tease a day keeps the doctor away. thanks.
no other words necessary ;)
OH NO YOU DIDN’T!!! I love these soooo much!! They just make me laugh until tears run out my eyes!! LMFBAO. . . .you will be reblogged again!!
Reblogged this on Fat Bottom Girl Said What and commented:
He fucking did it again!! How could he? I just got my pants dried out from the last round of these piss-your-pants-funny autocorrected quotes! You have to read this shit, because they will give you the best laugh you’ve had in a long time. Oh, and I’m sure this will garner him even more followers than he already has!! Enjoy my laziness, and the fruits of his brilliant comedic mind!
I just adore the Dalai Lama ones!!
some pictures might be worth many whores ;)
I have two quotes rolled into one ” I have thought long and HARD, it came up. If you want to climb the ladder of success be the first to step on someone´s head”
PS. Angelina never showed up at LA X, your a liar, had to travel back to Spain, the land of the wild bulls with a boner.
Broken hush puppies fill me with rage. That’s why I like the ones from Long John Silver’s. Hard as a rock, no breakage. That’ll hush those puppies all right. Unless your aim is off.
So much for ‘the sequel is never as good as the original.’ These were well worth the agonizing two days I’ll spend trying to get the image of tuberculosis out of my head. Not tuberculosis, *Teletubby Kurt*.
Haha this made my day.
Reblogged this on Talking Experience.
I just fell from sofa laughing reading this..and I had to share it with my readers as its so awesome..thanks for sharing dear
Maybe that´s the reason he became a C.I.A.s puppet…
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999 A necessary section of every girl wardrobe are her shoes.