Ring the bells and sound the alarms you ding dong, dingalings! 1,500 incredibly thoughtful, kind, lovely, and delightfully warped followers. 1,500. Wow, I’m at a loss for words. Totally just kidding. I’m never at a loss for words, as I’m sure you’re all well aware of by now.
Well, let me say this. You have all been so kind with your comments, likes, shares, and confessing your undying love to me. It’s still pretty wild for me, because as I was briefly explaining to my virtual love, my Nelly, my tumbleweed, AKA The Lunatic. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Let’s back that train up. Could it be?! Has the Dimwit found his Juliet?
No, never mind. Ixnay on the train backing up. It’s more mysterious to let it be, and a story’s gotta have a little mystery to it too, you know. Can’t all be wiener jokes and tall tales, although rest assured, this story will have plenty more of both. If you’d like to know who the mystery gal is, then I suggest you click the link to find out. She’s a dear soul, a terrific writer, a fantastic virtual french kisser, a so-so Macarena dancer, and I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that my tumbleweed bakes the best damn virtual Snickerdoodle cookies that a dimwit did ever taste!
My sweet, tumbleweed. My loving dear. May the winds be favorable and kind to a dimwitted dingleberry, and may the winds blow(job) a tumbleweed my way someday soon. Well, my Mom reads this blog, so on that note I better get moving on.
I did just want to take a moment to say thanks for reading and following. I’m blown away by the response. But of course a thank you is never enough for a madman like myself. So how’s about a photo of the dimwit dingaling just hanging out, having a grand, old time at the Chuck E. Cheeses, kicking back in the command post as the spirally tube gets swallowed up by fiery flames, while wearing a beanie propelor hat with the nice, kind message on the front “Blow Me.” You know. Being that I’m so blown away.
For you, my fellow dimwits. Thank you.
I would imagine your refrigerators must be getting pretty full by now with all these too hot to handle images. And that my friends, was a lyrical reference to my second favorite rapper of all time – Vanilla Ice. My favorite being Bubba Sparxxx, of course.
Figured since I’m giving shout outs to the best rappers of all time, it would be a good opportunity to give some shout outs to some other super cool bloggers that you should check out. Tell ’em the Dimwit sent ya, and ask them where my money is if you would be so kind.
1. Don of All Trades – Pretty much alls you need to know about this guy is he nicknamed his kids Ace, Cool, and G$. Like many of us, Don sometimes acts like a tough guy through his writing, but in all actuality, he’s one of the nicest guys you’ll ever meet. You’ll enjoy his stories, so be sure to go check them out.
2. John Balaya – I try to give shout outs that cover a variety of topics. I believe it’s important that we all strive to be well-rounded individuals. John is this round’s inspirational recommendation. He’s an openly gay man who’s been living with HIV for over 23 years now. John lost his father when he was 14, his brother shortly afterwards, and he is currently taking care of his 90 year old mother. John writes about these topics and many more with a lot of heart, so I ask that you go read them with an open mind.
3. Alexandra Pullen – I have an art background, but I’ve lost touch with the art world over the years. It’s been nice visiting a lot of your blogs, and getting a bit of a refresher course. When I visited Alexandra’s blog, I was viewing some of her amazing works when I came across her “Houses” series. I’ve never seen anything like it. She makes these vast cities out of tiny paper receipts and candy wrappers. It’s truly breathtaking. It’s my favorite series of hers, but the rest of her works are amazing too. Please go check them out and show her some support.
4. Ned’s Blog – Meet Ned. His name is Ned and he has a hilarious blog. Ned is just one of those super, cool guys that’s impossible to hate. So go ahead haters. Give it a go and try to prove me wrong. And for all you lovers out there, you’ll want to give it a go as well, because Ned is just a lovable guy who writes with a lot of humor, and occasionally he says something smart. Emphasis on occasionally (joking Ned!!)
That concludes this round of shout outs. If you’d like a shout out in the next round, then shoot me a message and we’ll try to make it so. I’m all for helping out whenever I can, so no need to be bashful if you’d really like your blog to get some more exposure. It would be my pleasure.
Well, we lost a few dimwits along the way which happens, but the rest of you are hangin’ tough. And that my friends, was a lyrical reference to my second favorite boy band of all time – New Kids On The Block. My favorite being the Backstreet Boys, of course. I’ve got the next month of posts all written up, which includes more famous autocorrected quotes, Photoshop tutorials, and other funny bits. So feel free to visit whenever you’ve got some time, because I’ll be posting regularly.
Thanks again. It’s really cool being connected to so many of you amazing dimwits. Should be some good times ahead.
The Captain of the Dimwits
Thanks for the shout out, Dimmy! Your provacative poses never cease to arouse, astound, inspire and sicken me! Hope all is well.
Ha! You’re welcome Don. Just like my writing, I like to mix it up with my poses. I’ve still got quite a few more in the reserves so clear a spot on the mantle, maybe the den too.
This is the first one, right out of the oven I am reading! And it is a thank you. I know it is not just for me, but since sharing the joy actually multiplies it, and by 1499 others, that has to be gigantic. So hope and wish some more followers be added to your list, because I can’t eat it all by myself.
Hey thanks! That’s very cool of you to say. Maybe if I get enough people reading, I can make a career of writing one day. Wouldn’t that be horrific for everyone :) Nice to have you onboard. Cheers.
Aaaww happy that you have found you Juliet. Gazillion dimwits at you command. You deserve it. So go ahead keep on entertaining us with your infinite wisdom! <3
Infinite wisdom! You are too kind. Thanks for the nice words and celebrating with me. Very cool of you to do. Thanks again.
Aaaww happy that you have found your Juliet. Gazillion dimwits at you command. You deserve it. So go ahead keep on entertaining us with your infinite wisdom! <3
i knew there was a reason i liked you and your blog – NKOTB and BSB are my faves! :) congratulations on reaching 1500! it’s well deserved. i really need to quit reading your blog at work – laughing out loud at randomness may get me in trouble haha.
Ha! Yeah, my blog is not recommended for work settings. Could get you in trouble for sure. I grew up with 5 sisters, so finally came around to appreciating the Backstreet Boys. They have some great harmonies. Not so sure about those dance moves, however. Thanks for the congrats and for reading!
A little rationality lifts the quality of the debate here. Thanks for coiitrbutnng!
I’m liking your post because of all the other shout-outs, not because I’ve been shouted out at, because that would just be tacky.
Well, and ok, the Chuck E Cheese photo… that makes it all worthwhile.
Congrats on 1500 man… well deserved!
My friend John! Well, I don’t think it would be tacky at all. Someone with as inspiring of a story as yours should be proud to show it off, and maybe your words will help some others along the way. You’re a good man.
As far as the photo, I spent more time in the command post at Chuck E. Cheese than my nieces and nephews. Once a kid, always a kid. Glad you liked the pose. I’ve got a few more of them. Okay, well maybe more than a few :)
Thanks for the congrats, my friend. Keep writing.
It is a honor to be a dimwit! Seriously, I love your humor. Making me laugh is one of the quickest ways to my heart. Sigh. So is mentioning New Kids on the Block, which happens to be the very first concert I’ve ever been to. I can’t believe I just said that. Aloud. On the public interwebs. Anyway, congrats on the 1500!
Miss Murder! The honor is all mine. Thanks so much for the kind words. That’s a good first concert. Mine was R.E.M. during their Monster tour, which wasn’t their best, but I took my Swedish girlfriend at the time. It rained before the show, everyone was muddy and wet, and we had the time of our lives. Well, I still can’t stop thinking about that Taylor Ham sandwich, so I think I’m gonna have to go find one or try to make one. Thanks.
Always reehrsfing to hear a rational answer.
That’s more than senebils! That’s a great post!
That’s a sweet hat
Thanks Cutter. It’s a special, tailor made one I did up in Photoshop, but I think they should sell them if they don’t already. Cheers, friend. Thanks for reading.
LOVE THE (dang cap lock!) I do love the post-but is it worthy of cap locks? hmmmm….Oh what the hell, I’m going with the cap locks. Do LOVE THE post. Found a couple of good blogs to follow. I’ll try and fit you in too. Check you out. Especially when you do those sexy poses. Blow me? Ya know I tried that and he screamed ‘No no it’s a euphemism…you’re supposed to…’ never mind. I have to go finish 1991. I’m only up to September…
HAHAHA, always a pleasure when you visit Laura Lynn. Laughs and warm sentiments. You’re the best. I’m glad you found some good blogs. Feel free to share them, because when I’m not writing, I’m usually reading. Cheers to you. Have a great weekend.
Oh yeah, love me some Don and Ned!! Thanks so much for making the rest of us who have been doing this blogging shit almost 2 years feel like the underside of a sweaty ball sack because we only have about 100 followers. (Just kidding!! You know I love ya!)
Don and Ned rock my face off!!! Well, sorry to make you feel like a sweaty ball sack. It’s been 10 years in the making, 4 failed blogs, and many late nights, early mornings of writing. I have a post in mind to offer some encouragement to all the writers and creators of the world, I just need to stop Photoshopping Mary Poppins tutorials, and sit down to spit it out.
Thanks for reading FBG. I hundred X’s and O’s to you.
You know I am just giving you crap! I love reading the stuff you write, because it’s quite humorous. I feel very lucky to have the hundred and some followers I do. I spend a lot of time being a mom, and drinking copious amounts of alcohol, so writing usually falls by the wayside while I am doing other important things like washing dirty drawers and scooping poop out of the cat box. You want my life, don’t you. Too bad jealous bitches!! It’s all mine!!! And here’s a little reach-around, back atcha!!
Well, I travel South quite a bit, and maybe I’ll make a stop in Kansas sometime to get a peak of this glamorous life. We’ll drink some Franzia and scoop cat litter. It would be fun. Anything is fun as long as you have the right company. Thanks for the reach-around. Best one I’ve had in a while. Love ya FBG.
Your posting really stnitghaered me out. Thanks!
Thank you, thank you, thank you! And your photoshop is awesome as ever :)
You’re very welcome! Honestly, I can’t get those little houses out of my mind, and how tedious it must have been to make them. I love it, and all your other artwork as well. Keep doing what you do, because it’s great.
So, there are at least 1,499 other dimwits out there! And, I thought you were so uniquely you! Well, I guess you still are a “one-in-a-million you” as I have yet to see any of these humble poses that even come close to yours! (Where in God’s name did you get those glasses?!?!?!)
PS I really could have lived without seeing the hat.
PPS So, are you in love, lust, live-in, or just panting desire mode?
Oh, shit, my Mom’s here. Well, hi Mom. Yes, there’s a bunch of others similar to me. Told you I wasn’t completely crazy. Emphasis on completely.
PS. The hat is what makes the photo. It’s all about the attention to details.
PPS. None of your beeswax. It’s a mystery, and even the Dimwit dingaling doesn’t know the ending to this story, so we’ll just have to wait and see how the pages get written. But if you must know a little, I would classify it as pure, burning lust and pent-up, raging desires. Well, you did ask, so I’m only telling you.
PPS. How do you keep changing your name? That’s pretty cool.
Ahhh…I am so laughing out loud!!! Finally I have a bit of knowledge that you don’t. I’m a name-changer technology expert! And, I’m not telling you how to do it just yet because I have a few surprises of my own for you, Mr. Hat Man!
PS I didn’t really need to hear about the raging desires. Some things are best left unsaid to mothers. Rock on with the writing! You have some great stuff!!!!
I really seriously peed.
I’m so glad Mother of “The Dimwit” shared her thoughts on your raging desires.
Me too. I’ve been meaning to get it off my chest, and what better place to discuss it than on a public blog.
Oh, PS. I like your new gravatar-whoozy-ma-whatzit! Cute glasses!
Yes, unfortunately I have a dirty little secret: I wear bifocals. Sigh.
Nothing makes my heart sing like young Internet love and hats with spinny thingies (thingys?)
Such a beautiful declaration and I can’t wait to see your interweb babies! ;)
Thanks Amber! I hope they don’t get my nose, but I’ll still love them even if they do. Internet romances are the best. I was reading some Andy Warhol quotes, so I’ll leave you with one of his while we’re on the topic. Thanks for reading.
“Fantasy love is much better than reality love. Never doing it is very exciting. The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet.”
– Andy Warhol
That’s not just logic. That’s really seinlbse.
I searched a bunch of sites and this was the best.
“Can’t all be wiener jokes and tall tales…”
Oh ho! I beg to differ, good sir!
Ha! Well, I thought about it long and hard (wiener joke), and I’ll be incorporating many more along the way. Cheers!
I would love a shout, but don’t think I am ready for the fame. Can I take a rain check? Besides I haven’t earned it yet as I might have been #1500.
Yes, of course. A rain check it is miss Desiree M. Palmer. That’s a nice name by the way. Kinda sounds like a famous person’s name….
It’s a real live flesh and blood name. Well, maybe not… I hyphenated when I got married and then regretted the hyphen. To solve the problem I initial-ized my old last name (Murphy). So yeah… :)
And, yes, I just created a new meaning for the word initialized.
Feeling very dimwit-by-association after reading this post because a) Ned recently started following my blog as well and I may or may not have developed a severe case of instantaneous funny-blogger-envy; and b) blogger romances (blogmances?) rock my socks, as you can see: http://wp.me/21IMO
Congrats on hitting 1500!!
Thanks for the congrats! And whoa, congrats to you on the blogmance of your own! (love that word; nicely played.) What did people do before the internet? I guess leave their houses and marry their cousins or something. Thank goodness for the internets. :)
Right?!? Lets me come off as witty and charming with bed-head and pajama pants.
Wait, Dimmy, you’re not my distant cousin are you???
Well, maybe. We are both awesome, so maybe somewhere deep down the tree, our families have intertwined.
I think as long as we are third cousins, it will be fine.
LOL!! Hmm …You don’t have family in Canada, do you?
Backstreet’s back… ALRIGHT!!! I am so beyond relieved that I am not alone in my undying love for the Backstreet Boys. No one can ever take their place for me. One Direction who? Also, I find it quite helpful that you post these shout-outs because I am like way too lazy (actually no busy, honestly) to surf around the blogosphere looking for more awesome bloggers to banter with. So cheers for that. Or as we say in Kiwi-land: Chur!
Hi lovely Debz, my soon to be Spaniard friend! Well, I wouldn’t go so far as saying undying love for the Backstreet Boys, but I do appreciate a nice harmony and a really cheesy video to go along with it.
I’m glad you find the shout-outs helpful. I try to read as many people’s blogs as possible and pass them along when I can. It helps that I’m unemployed at the moment and have all this free time. I had you in mind for the next one if you’d like. I’ll send you an email sometime soon to discuss. Chur!
Hey I would love that!! That would be awesome. Aha! Fantastic use of the best word New Zealand English has to offer right now. And it’s so versatile:
hey thanks bro = oh chur
that’s awesome! = oh chur!
that’s so true = oh chur.
What a country…
Oh snap. I just saw this. Well thanks for the Kiwi-Land lingo. Oh chur! I sent you an email with some deetz (American English for details. It’s an awful word, and I vow to use it sparingly.)
So that’s the case? Quite a reivalteon that is.
I think you have to up the ante on the Double D shout outs!
Hmmmmm I’m thinking two tattoos of your face on my chest for all to see. Yes, that sounds like divine plan indeed. What do you think? Fair trade… a shout out in exchange for your face inked on my ta’s?
I like where this is headed. I’ve always wanted to be tattooed on a lady’s body – that’s a sign that you’ve truly made it – and what better place than the ta-ta’s. That would be quite the honor. Send me a pic, and I’ll give ya a shout out for sure! (well, I had to try anyways.)
Congrats on your 1,500 followers!
Thanks Outlaw! Nice to have you around to stir up some trouble. Howdy ho!
;-) That’s what I do!
1500. Sigh. I want 1500. So far I have 1. And it’s you. I think I need to pee.
I’m so glad I watched the Wanda Sykes video you posted, cause now I have a much deeper appreciation for what a poor woman has to go through, and a better understanding of your uncontrollable peeing episodes. When I go to K-Mart to buy my turtlenecks, I’ll be buying you a package of depends and some AA batteries. Cheers my friend. :)
Turtlenecks. That brings to question.
Does it tastes like….chicken?
And Wanda is a hot mess!
1500 followers is very impressive and well deserved. I think you have more followers than that zany David Koresh ever did. As far as Chuck E. Cheese goes, my son has never been to one, but each time he sees it advertised on TV he says, “Are we EVER going to go to that Junky Jesus’ place?” I mean, why correct him?
Ha! Junky Jesus. Kids say the darndest things, and I love it. Thanks for the congrats. Hopefully I’m not as crazy as David Koresh, but somedays it may seem like it. Thanks for reading and following along!
Congrats! 1500… 2000 by next week. Before you know it, you will be taking over the world. There is no stopping you!
Ha! Well, it’s been slowing down, so maybe that’s good. I’ve been trying to get a bunch of writing done, then I’ll work on taking over the world :) Mostly though, I’d just like a little money so I can afford to buy some more Franzia boxed wine. I’m broke as a joke at the moment. It’s good to dry out the liver every now and again, but this instant coffee is no replacement for the Franzia! Thanks for the congrats darling.
Where’d you score that hat? Pedophiles central?
I fucking adore it for that ingenious play on words.
Oh, and congratulations! I’m certain most are here for that hat.
Even if they’re not, I’m speaking for myself.
I scored the hat compliments of a warped mind, too much free time, and some madddd Photoshop skills. Thanks for the congrats. Maybe one day I’ll put up a store on my site and sell things like “Blow Me” beanie propellor hats. Yours will be on the house, of course, because you’re rad like that.
I’m serious. That could be the next best thing since sliced bread and contraception.
dear Jack, I have nominated YOU for the SUNSHINE AWARD….please go to johannisthinking.com for instructions on the SUNSHINE AWARD! Thanks for the good rays!
My 10 nominees are each important to me in their own unique way…
* Jack (?) http://thedimwitdiary.com
Wild humor and he wakes you up with his interesting comparisons and smashing honesty! Thank you for the SUNSHINE, Jack!
Thanks for the nomination, pretty lady! Off topic (so what else is new), but you remind me of this production manager that I work with on films. That’s a good thing, because she’s a real cool gal. Thanks again. Cheers.
And the pictures just get better and better (not to mention dropping an NKOTB reference). Congrats on 1500 followers (holy!) and finding your Juliet! Sounds like she’s got the…right stuff. Oh-oh-oh-ohoh.
Oh I do … no question.
Soundhippy and the Lunatic, some of my favorite people all in one place! Thanks for the kudos Soundhippy. It’s 4:15 in the morning and I can’t sleep. I’m gonna go listen to some of your music. Hopefully it’s not too metal, or else I may be pulling an all nighter. And yes, my Juliet has got the right stuff fo sho.
Dimmi Dimmy dear, congrats. Conquer zee world, my friend.
Mos def, my tumbleweed. Conquering it in beanie propellor hat style. I’ll send you a rambling email later. Was just anxious to hear about the job is all. Hoping you are conquering the world as well…
I thought you should know I finally thanked you publicly after rudely ignoring your shout-out for a week. I talked some smack about you and linked to your blog. So if you experience a sudden spike in traffic… :D Thanks again.
Mazel Tov, ya Dimwit! I knew you’d hit the big time. I know good writing when I see it. I like Ned’s blog, too, and I’m looking forward to checking out your other recommendations. I wouldn’t mind a shout out, if you think I’m worthy. Seriously, though, I’m not at all surprised that you have such a huge flock of Dimwitted Followers. As I keep telling people, you’re the real deal.
NKOTB forever!!!!! Jordan was my number 2 husband choice as a kid, right behind Uncle Jesse..The dog killa. I even made my own stationary with our names at the top. Wrote out thank you notes to people for attending our charity functions and such. Haha
Congrats on the 1500 :)