Guest Blogger – The Baha Men

So by now, you regular dimwits know that I work in the film industry.  I’ve downplayed it in previous posts, but it’s actually a pretty cool gig.   I’ve been at it for about 12 years now, and I’ve had the fortune of working on two films with Anne Hathaway, or Annie Spagannie as I like to call her, and well, of course we became instant best friends.

We chat back and forth from time to time, send drunk texts to each other at 3 AM, those  sorts of things that best friends do.  Well, Annie Spagannie has been following along on my blog when she’s not too busy making films.  She had a chance to read the last guest blogger post where John Stamos wrote a brave and chilling letter to the Baha Men (which I would suggest you read first if you haven’t already), and being the huge Baha Men super fan that she is, she was able to help get me in touch with the nice fellas.

So I’d like to thank the Baha Men for being kind enough to be this week’s guest blogger and offering up their response letter to John Stamos.  It’s an insightful read as one would expect, and I think you’ll get a lot out of it.  I know I did.  Thanks the Baha Men.

0724386409522

Yo Stamos!  Woof, Woof, Woof!

Yo we got your letter dawg (no pun intended.)   Hey listen man, that was an incredibly cool thing of you to do.   It takes a lot of guts to tell someone you killed two of their dawgs, even if it did come 12 years late.  I just gotta believe they up there somewhere in a better place, right?  Isn’t that how this whole thing works?  Pepper Spray and Mace, snatchin’ tennis balls outta the air, havin’ a damn good time rolling around up there in them puffy clouds.  Probably nailin’ them female dawgs too, if I know those two hound dawgs!  WOOF!

Sorry it took so long to get back to you, but we was back in the studio making some more of those fresh and funky junkanoo beats.  Our schedules have been mad crazy right now.    But it will all be worth it in just a little while.  We hopin’ anyways.   The Baha Men can’t wait to blow the lid off the new stuff.  They thought the dawgs was wild – wait till they get a hold of these beats.  It’s gonna’ blow some minds!  And probaby a few stereos too, cause I’m tellin’ you, this shit is dope.

Back to the killing our dawgs thing – man, no hard feelings.  We actually knew it was you all along.  Sally ratted you out.  Sombody at the party overheard somebody who said you was hammered and goin’ on about a master plan for juicy steaks, and plottin’ revenge on us for not being able to play your birthday party, or somethin like that.  Then that somebody told Sally who told our drummer Jimbo Slice.  You know how it goes.  Poeple like to yap their traps when it ain’t nobody’s business really.

And well, we was disappointed to hear you done it, no doubt.  We always seen you on Full House, and even though you was a badass biker, you seemed to have a good heart.  I know it’s just TV, and it was all acting and stuff, but still, you can tell alot about people form their smile, the way their eyes look or don’t look, and just the way they carry themselves.  You can’t act that Stamos.  We knew you was a good guy.

It’s just you was in a bad place, that’s all.  Ain’t we all sometimes.  Life can knock you silly but unlike you, it don’t have the decency to say sorry.  It don’t care none if you’re Bob, or Jim, or if you’re the famous actor John Stamos.  Everyone gets the rug taken out from underneath them at some point, and I guess it was just me, you, and Sally Jessy Raphael’s turn at the time.  Just gotta get back up, put the rug back into place.   Like Eminem says, you only get one shot.  Might as well make it a good one.

We gotta tell you this one last thing before we get back to the studio.  You was actually the inspiration behind the idea for “Who Let The Dogs Out?”  We didn’t wanna’ tell no one it was John Stamos,  cause we collectively felt it was more mysterious just letting it alone.  The mystery paid off.  We still collectin’ those checks off that song 12 years later, so let’s leave it at this Stamos.  Let’s get together sometime, crack some bubbly and we won’t never mention none of this ever again.  Clean slate.  Whad’ya say?

Hope you’re good John, and sorry to hear when things got ugly with you and Rebecca, and the whole split and all of that stuff.  Just another one of those things, another one of those twists and turns in life.  Grab the wheel, hold on, don’t never take your foot off the gas.  Keep on driving Stamos.  Take that shot.

Your dawgs forever,

The Baha Men

PS.  Thanks for the PF Changs gift certificate!  I got the Shaking Beef and Jimbo got the Crispy Honey Shrimp.  It was mad dope!  Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof!!!

57 thoughts on “Guest Blogger – The Baha Men

    • OMG wiggetty wiggety??! Too awesomesauce. Gotta use that one for something, been too long since I’ve heard that. Thanks Sassy. Hey sorry, I haven’t forgot about the award thing, just been doing a lot of writing and trying to focus mainly on that, but will have some time this weekend to give it a look. Hope you’re well…kindred spirit.

      • I’m down with all the latest Ebonics.

        I know it’s hard to make time for us regular folk – what with all your fancy Hollywood friends and all. Even for the KINDREDEST of spirits. ;) I’m kidding…

        Even if you don’t get around to it, I think it’s cool that you keep reminding me that you haven’t forgotten.

    • Yes! All you dimwits, join in. It’s Kumbaya singing time. It’s sometimes warm and fuzzy in here once you get past all the wiener jokes ;) Glad you like it, and as always thanks for the comment. It means a lot to the Dimwit. Cheers.

  1. Uncle Jesse deserves a cut of those profits! How dare they keep the song’s true inspiration under wraps, letting him feel like crap for killing those dogs all these years..when the truth is, without him, they wouldn’t have those millions!! Im not gonna lie. Pepper Spray and Mace are better off in doggy heaven than with those underhanded Baha Men. I fear when Uncle Jesse reads this response from them, that the fire of fury will be re-ignited. Who knows what animal will have to pay for his fury next. I have to suggest Dr. Phil to host a mediation between the BM (thats right), Uncle Jesse, and that loud mouthed Sally Jesse..cuz things about to get all cray cray up in here.

    • Ha! You really thought it out, huh? I love it. Well, maybe down the road we’ll check in with Sally and Stamos and see how everyone’s faring with the whole ordeal. Thanks for reading Sarah!

  2. i was having such a crap day, uber cranky (for some decent reasons), being forgetful about things i shouldn’t be forgetting and then i read the dimwit diary… thanks for turning my frown upside down. :) it always makes my day when i hear about warm, fuzzy happy endings. i also think the previous commenter (Sarah) may be correct. Stamos could have some legal standing because BM never would have asked the question if the dogs weren’t missing. just saying.

    • Ha! Yes, well. For now all is peaceful on the Baha/Stamos front. Maybe I’ll do a letter from Sally and stir it up again. Wow, thanks for the comment though. It’s nice to hear that frown got turned upside down. Hoping it stays that way for a good while : )

    • Annie said to bite her. She’s gets a bit jealous sometimes. Well it’s peaceful now, but it might get a stirring if and when Sally chimes. She’s got a lot of fury and wrath behind those big, red glasses of hers.

  3. Awesome — the PF Chang’s gift certificate is where I really lost it, though (in a positive, have to clean up the chocolate milk kind of way). Please tell Anne I loved her in Les Mis too, but she should have gotten a lot more love for TDKR (I know, she’s not the only one)!

    • Ha! Okay will do Jason. Me and Annie are besties and all. Sorry about the milk!

      Hey buddy, don’t know if you saw it or not, but gave you a plug in my 1,000 post. Hope it was all right, meant to ask you first, but then it just kinda happened. Well, guess it’s too late now, but if there’s any changes or if you’d rather not have a plug, just let me know, and it’s no problem. Hope you’re well…

  4. I worked on Hearts In Atlantis, and was on-set when they filmed Hannibal… the film industry is so fascinating! But most people don’t realize just how long and difficult the days can be! Thanks for liking my post!
    When I grow up, I’m going to have celebrities guest posting on my blog, too! :-D
    Does Ms. Hathaway know anything about crafts? Kidding, kidding… (unless she does, and wants to fame up my blog…) I happen to think she’s one of the prettiest actresses in the business today. She looks ‘real’, not like a breathing Barbie doll.
    Thanks again!
    -Dimwit out

    • All right! Another film person. Cool. Yeah, it’s hard work, long days. I do locations, so as you know, first person on set, last to leave. But I love it overall.

      Well, of course I was fibbing a bit. You’re new here, but you’ll learn. But I did work with Anne on Batman and Love & Other Drugs, and she’s a dear. The kinda gal that when the crew threw a Halloween party, usually the stars fly home for the weekend. But her and Jake hung around. They dressed up and attended the party with the crew. She was Charlie Chaplin. And mixed it up with all of us, and we had a great evening. But not the best friend, drunk texts at 3AM kind of evening. Well, she is sweet and a dear.

      If I work with her again, I’ll send her your way for some crafts.

      Thank you!

      • heh, well, I figured that there was a wee bit of exaggeration in the ‘BFF’ chatter, but it was more fun to play along than not ;)

        I was actually only a painter’s assistant, but it was lots of fun! The days were loooong! But the pay was way better than any other job I’d ever had, before or since!

        I really like your sense of humor! I’ll definitely be back around!

  5. I worked with Anne on Batman, too! Well, it was more like near her. Or, I guess if you want to get technical, it was near her trailer. At least I think it was her trailer. And I’m pretty sure it was Batman… Or was it the Motorcycle Diaries. That’s the one where she becomes a princess after hooking up with a guy on a scooter, right? And she’s wearing all leather and has glasses that fold up into cat-like ears? But she has a spell cast on her that makes her have to do whatever Maxwell Smart (played by Hugh Jackman) tells her to? Anyway, yeah — I totally feel you on the Hollywood scene…

    • Ha! Awesome Ned. Well, listen. I’m putting together some shout outs and was gonna do one for you. So do you want the link to be to a specific post or your main page? It won’t be until next week or so, just wanted to run it by ya, you crazy, cool man. Sorry, I shoulda put this in a email if you have yours listed, but I have all kinds of trouble clicking around on people’s grava-whatzy-whoozy-thingy, and it gets me in a lot of trouble. So you can email me or just reply here.

      dimwitdiary@gmail.com

      Thanks, talk to ya soon. . Gotta run, me and Annie Spagannie are going out for brunch, having some mimomsas. It should be nice. I’ll tell her to check out your blog too.

      • Yeah, any time you’re dealing with other people’s whatzy-whoozies you can never be too be careful. I saw films on that in my seventh-grade health class that still haunt me. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your giving me a shout out. Usually I just get shouted at. A link to my main page would be terrific. By the way, my email is nedhickson@icloud.com, and there’s a link at the bottom of each post, plus on my whatzy-whoozy. You know, come to think of it, my whatzy-whoozy having a link only makes sense… Enjoy the mimosas!

  6. I’m happy that the BM are a forgiving group. I, however, cannot forgive them for making a song my dad sang every time he let the dogs out-about ten times a day. I’m pretty sure he still sings it to this day.

  7. Whoa I’m so glad you “liked” my blog post because now I’ve found your blog and I love it! I won’t go as far as to say I have a blogger crush on you yet because it’s all so sudden……… but I can’t wait to read(stalk) more.

  8. After reading this… That song keeps popping into my head… Thank goodness I haven’t started singing it because my kiddos are repeaters. I’d go crazy if they started singing it! :)

  9. I saw that you had read my blog and I came to check you out, Dimwit blogger…sounds like me most of the time! Read the letter to John about the Dawgs… I will come back and thanks for checking me out you are always welcome and would love for you to add a comment on anything.. h

  10. Heartwarming story, really. Disturbing at times, especially Sally Jesse Rafael. What an interloper. As long as John and the Baha Men are cool, that’s all that really matters. I’d like to reblog your “A Letter to My Mother” because I just can’t get it out of my head, if that’s ok. I’m guessing you’d be ok with it. Sounds like you’e going to have to give up show business and write full time. Please don’t give up the writing thing; you’re too good.

    • Aw, thanks! That’s mighty nice of you to say. Yes, well I’m hoping to make writing Baha Men letters a full career one day soon. Ha! Well, yeah it’s kinda silly, but the thing is, you can still mix in some good stuff in with the silliness, so I try to do it if I can. But really, I just like to write anything, and this blog is a way for me to sharpen my skills a bit. I do want to do some more serious writing – like novels and screenplays – but of course it won’t be TOO serious. Hopefully one day.

      Well, sure. I’d be honored if you reblog the letter. Thanks for asking. Take care Leslie Jo. Got some funny stuff coming up (and maybe I’ll do a more serious one sometime soon, too.) Have a good weekend…

      • I hope you have a great weekend, too. It’s finally really nice here in the Chicago area, but I’m inside trying to find things in my office so I can be more efficient. But I feel like I’m wasting my time.

    • Hey thanks! That’s a big compliment. It was a fib mostly, so that’s cool that you thought it might be real. Don’t mean to trick ya, it’s just I like to tell tall tales.

      Well, in all honesty, I have worked with Anne on two films: Batman and Love & Other Drugs. And I can say that she’s a dear and very kind. However, I can’t speak on behalf of the Baha Men or John Stamos as I’ve never met them. But they seem like they could be nice too, so who knows? Well, glad I could make you smile fib or not. That was my hope. Cheers and thanks for reading!

      • Thank goodness! I was feeling terribly cynical to doubt the reality of it. :-) But the misspellings and shameless while trying not to be shameless album plugging threw me in to a “What if…?”
        Now I’m just torn between respecting you for setting me straight, or disrespecting you for not taking the choice opportunity to troll someone who has a tendency toward gullibility.
        Lesson learned: Master Dimwit is a sweetheart.

        PS: begging for a spoiler warning if you ever decide to give behind the scenes stuff on Batman to give me a chance to flee. I like believing movie magic and that actors live up to their images.

        • As far as I know, jews were systematically peasdrued to leave other countries, from Europe to Russia and the Middle East, for Israel. As far as I know, the truth has become a very rare good over the last 12 years, particularly now, when an excuse for a new war of aggression is being sought after. Remember the WMDs in Iraq, or the “humanitarian” missions in Libya, Afghanistan, or elsewhere. Have you ever been in Iran, or visited the Jewish community there? You will be surprised, some members have an attitude very different from that of certain jews in the west, with their dominant influence on media. I am sure you will also be surprised by what you otherwise will see in this country.Why do I disbelieve that I will ever see my comment on this site, hm…? :-)

  11. you are SO funny–no wonder you are in the industry. You’re Tina Fey, but male–Dimitri, but half-bearded, funny–but electrically monitored. I am glad to have discovered…

    your neighbor in SB baby.

  12. I LOVE your preoccupation with Ms. Rafael. Or is it Ms. Jesse Rafael. I myself am always threatening the arrogant people in my life that I’m going to make them go on Ricki Lake with me for an episode where I tell them “Girl, You Think You All That, But I Got News for Yous.”

    • HA! Well, yes. I’ve always had a thing for Ms. Rafael and those big, red glasses. Ricki Lake…that’s a name I haven’t heard in a while. Might have to incorporate her into the writing somehow. Thanks for the funny comment.

      • Simply because God wants us to know who He is to us by being dendpeent on Him. But in today’s world, independence is utmost importance, something that really deviates from Christology due to its selfish nature.It’s also known as faith . After you’ve crossed the first hurdle of being faithful, the next hurdle is making sure you continually be faithful, which is the most difficult thing. Because, after the first hurdle, a Christian life turns into a habitual behaviour (which can lead to a lack of meaning). That’s why remembrance is also very important part in a Christian life.Good thing God doesn’t judge us by our actions and thoughts, but by our heart. You made a very good point there. So often, WE judge people by their actions, eh?

  13. Pingback: 104th Commemorative Post | The Dimwit Diary

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