l,000 Followers – A Thank You

Well, hells bells and cockle shells.  1,000 followers.  1,000 real, genuine funny, ornery, thoughtful, and real live wire dimwits.  Time to break out the good stuff.  I usually only reserve the good stuff for when I have to sit through three hours of my sister’s ballet recitals, but this is a real cause for celebration.  It’s time to break out the $12 bottle of Kessler.   Salute, bottoms up, all that good stuff, and a big cheers to you all.

So you’re maybe tired of hearing it, but I think it’s important to say thanks.   It’s a nice word to say:  thanks.  It just kind of rolls off the tongue nicely, so thanks again to all you dimwits.  It really means a lot, and I’ve appreciated all your comments, likes, and nude photographs that you’ve sent to me.  I read all your comments, but I don’t always get a chance to respond.   But I do try my best, and if I’ve missed one, a thousand apologies.  Make that 1,001 just to be safe, and 1,002 if you are a siamese twin.   I’m sorry about your luck, but hoping all goes well for you and you.

Check this out, dimwits.  By now, we’ve weeded out the kittens from the tigers.  And those of you that are still hanging around here are clearly the tigers.  Those of you that don’t mind a little cursing, a little jousting, some poking, a little sparing, a lot of madness, and the occasional mention of wiener tucked vaginas.  But always in a good, fun way, and always with best intentions, as best an intention a wiener tucked vagina can have, I suppose.

So this is my thanks to the 1,000 followers.

To the tigers, the dimwits, the dingalings, the ding dongs, to the tingleberries.  Thanks for having a good old, rip-roaring time with me.  It’s been a lot of fun, I hope.  Maybe even a few other things that you might’ve needed at that very moment.

So how’s about an autographed African Safari photograph of myself posed as a tiger, wearing Randy Macho Man Savage sunglasses, with a few gents in the background trying to snap off a good shot of the old, ding dong, dingaling, dimwit himself in action.   Don’t say I never gave you nothing.  You dimwits.

Chris Stay Hungry

Turned out kinda nice.  Perhaps a good one for the high school lockers or the fire place mantle.  Anyway, I wanted to give a few plugs.  In the rapper community, we lyrical gunslingers like to refer to them as “shout outs.”  So here they go.  I’ve made the links in separate pop-up menus, so there’s no excuse not to click.

1.  The Real Housewives of Lancaster PA – If the title doesn’t do it for you, than the video surely will.  Written, acted, and produced by a dear friend, who at one point was my intern on a little, old movie starring  Jake Gyllenhaal & Anne Hathaway that you mighta heard of called “Love and Other Drugs.”  My talented friend’s real name is Susan Rankus, but I sometimes still like to refer to her as “Hey Intern,” which is what I called her the entire course of the 4 month shoot.  And we’re still friends.  Check out the video, it’s hilarious.  *Spoiler alert* – Amish girl packing dildos in her suitcase.

2.  Cancer:  My Journey Back to Health-Kicking & Screaming the Whole Damn Way – Yes, well by now the gig is up.  It’s true.  I’m not a dimwit.  Not in the traditional sense of the word, meaning that I’m a dum-dum.  I mean, I am a dum-dum.  I spend hours writing reviews about unicorns and Ting Tings.  Beautiful words, poetic even for a lousy review of an online product on Amazon that nobody will ever see, when I should be penning a classic instead.  Who does that nonsense?  Dimwits.  Dimwits do it.  But I also have enough sense to know that when someone is willing to bare their soul for the benefit of others going through a similar struggle, well you’d have to be a true dimwit to pass up an opportunity to give that person a plug.  A shout out to you, beautiful, bald-headed Laura Lynn.  Kick some ass and take some names.

3.  The Boy Hero –  Meet Jason.  He likes cats, long walks on the beach, orange flavored Gatorade, miniature putt-putt golf, and sculpting totem poles out of western red cedar wood on the weekends.  Ladies?  Totally just kidding.  Made that whole thing up.  Told ya I like to tell tall tales.  But he does seem like a general, all around good dude.  And he’s in the process of writing a few screenplays, so I have to give a nod to a fella’ working in the biz when I can.  Go read his stuff pretty please with an orange Gatorade on top.  (You better hire my ass, Jason, and make the $50 for the plug made out to CASH.)

Welp, that does it for shout outs this round.  If I make to 1,500 maybe I’ll do up another super sexxxy photo.  Lord knows I have a million of them lying around.  I’ll throw up some more shout outs too, cause I know most of you are trying to get your stuff seen just the same as the majority of us bloggers.  I can’t promise, but if you’d like a special Dimwit shout out, send me a link, shoot me a message, and we’ll see if we can’t make it happen.

I do appreciate this whole community aspect about blogging.  Scratch my balls, I’ll scratch your balls, or however that saying goes.   I appreciate all the shares, reblogs and reading my stories to your poor sap for husbands.   It’s really sweet and humbling to me, because I’m just some messy haired guy sitting in his apartment wearing his Tweety Bird boxer briefs, with the shades drawn open nice and wide for all the neighbors to see, writing fictional stories about the Baha Men, ect., and it’s cool when you write words, if you’re able to somehow choose the right ones, they can mean the difference from someone having a sour day or a nice day.  I hope you all are having a nice one.

Cheers to ball scratching and to dimwits.  I bid thee tigers farewell for now.  Go make some noise and wake up those darling kittens.  Give the world a shake.  Give it a rattle.  Have a ball.  You might as well.  You’re not here for very long.  So go have some fun, tigers, and I will do the same….thanks again.


79 thoughts on “l,000 Followers – A Thank You

    • Thanks for scratching my balls. I can’t thank you enough. Hey – I just went over to your site, and well, you know. I am a dimwit. I keep getting that follow thingy up in the corner all confused, so I was already following you. (It’s been a mad rush of the past week, please forgive me. No sleep, very little eating, TONS of Bon Jovi, so that’s good.) But I didn’t realize I was already following you, and then I clicked unfollow cause I got that thingy all messed up again. And well, then I followed you again. So sorry for the confusion if you get some sort of new notification.

      And well, then I was clicking around some more on your site, reading a bit. Bleary eyed. Should probably go to bed. But just wanted to let you know how beautiful you are. I’m not expecting a nude photograph unless you want to, but mainly I just wanted to tell you, well, because It never hurts to share a nice compliment. And you never know when it might be your last night here in this crazy world, so that’s why I’m telling you.

      Gonna listen to a little more Jovi, then hitting the sack. Thanks again for scratching my balls and I promise not to unfollow you again, and also I’ve got a lot of writing done, so now I can check out everyone’s site. I’ll start with yours.

      – The Dimwit

        • Hey, Lunatic. Me again. Still haven’t gone to bed. How the hell can one go to bed when the sweet sounds of Jon Bon Jovi are filling the air. Anyways, remember how I said I was gonna check out your site? Well I have been and I think I just unfollowed you again cause I hit the thingy by accident, but then I followed you again I think. So apologies again for the folly. I’ve managed a mess of them in my lifetime it seems.

          Also that was a tall tale. I didn’t unfolow you again by mistake. But I wasn’t lying when I said you were beautiful. Well, anyways, I think we have a marvelous budding virtual relashionship (spelled it wrong too lazy to look it up to fix) going on, and I look forward to more banter, nudey photos, ect. in the future.


            • Stroke (pause) I got it. Most people might not pick up on that. I like the subltletiesxi (spelled that one terribly wrong, I’m afraid). Just turned of the Jovi, didn’t really appreciate that you called it shit, however, but going to bed this time for real, no fibs. Probably gonna dream of you and stroke….my imiginiary cat (spelled imaginary wrong too the first time but managed to nail the shit out of it this time somehow..) Christ, I”m going to bed.

                • Yes, well Don. My apologies, you tingleberry. I tried to reach you, but I have this real problem evidently clicking around on people’s grava-whatzy-ma-whoozy-call-it, and could’t find an address to send it to. I tried your FB page and left ya a real nice dimwitted message. I wanted to ask you if it’d be all right to give you a nice pluggin’. I didn’t just want to plug ya without asking, cause maybe you didn’t want a plug. Anyways, good buddy, if pluggin is your sort of thing, just let me know, and I’ll get ya in the next one. Always enjoy your posts, and you seem like a real nice fella, good Dad, husband, Bud Light Lime drinker, all that stuff. Hope you’re well buddy.

          • Hiya! Quick question that’s enerltiy off topic. Do you know how to make your site mobile friendly? My blog looks weird when browsing from my iphone. I’m trying to find a theme or plugin that might be able to correct this problem. If you have any suggestions, please share. Appreciate it!

  1. I’m not sure how any of my nude photos got to you, but I DON’T expect reciprocation. Wait, scratch that. WAIT! I don’t mean my balls! Oh, hell — I’m just trying to say congrats. Well done and well deserved.

    • Dimwit, you lucky bastard! You got nude pics of Ned and didn’t even think to share them with me?
      Better yet, why don’t you both just send on over some Tweety Bird boxer brief pics. I’ll wait.

      • Sent. Might take a minute, sent it high rez so you can make a poster for your bedroom.

        Hi Ned. Your Mom sent the nude photos (apologies if she’s passed and may she be resting in peace. Comedy is a tough gig.) Anyway Ned, besides the fact I like your name. It’s just kinda fun to say and impossible to dislike a Ned, and I won’t even touch Groundhog’s Day because I’m sure you’ve gotten it enough in you lifetime already – love the movie by the way. Top 20 maybe. Just wanted to say thanks for the congrats. It’s gonna get pretty wild up in these here parts, and I’m glad you’re on board. I’ve managed time here and there to read your posts, and well, they live up to expectation one would have of a Ned. Funny stuff, good stuff. Hell, I’d throw in a bitchin’ stuff, too. I’ll plug your ass on the next one if you’d like.

        My love to the both of you,
        Christopher Jonathan Clementine Johsophat Hinton III

    • THANK YOU. Appreciate the comment. Daddy Dimwit – that’s a new one, I like it. Been hard at work in that dingaling kinda way, and can’t wait to share some more. Thanks for reading.

    • Thanks mate! Sorry if you’re a girl. I can’t tell by the photo because there’s a bit of a sun flare going on. Anyway, hope you’ll stick around for some more good times. We have a lot of them around here. Cheers.

  2. well, i’d say scratch my balls and i’ll scratch yours but oddly enough i don’t have any (at least not literally), so i guess i’ll just settle for telling you congratulations! i haven’t followed for very long, but am looking forward to more of your adventures and sense of humor. you know how people will type “lol” but really aren’t? yeah im really busting a gut when i read your blogs. thanks! :)

  3. Gefeliciteerd with all your following dimwits! I thought I put in a Dutch word for the fun of it… I guess you know what I said, but if you didn’t (because you’re too lazy to look it up) it means congrats! ;)

    • Oh, thank goodness you clarified it for me in the end there. Am feeling a bit lazy today, but gotta get to work finishing up the next Photoshop tutorial: How to Photoshop yourself in a pop up tent with a ferocious wolf. It’s my best one yet, and I will be sharing soon. Thanks for the congrats and teaching me some Dutch.

      • You’re very welcome. Love to see your Photoshop self wolf pop up (or something like that! I’m getting lazy too right now. Did too much work today. Not good for your health) ;)

    • YES! That could be arranged I’m sure. But I’ll make it a special one of me in the Tweety Bird boxers. I’ll have the mail man take a shot of me today when he comes by, and send it your way. Thanks!

  4. Well, pass the Electroshave because I just shaved my balls in anticipation of all the mutual ball scratching. Now I really do need to scratch.

    I’m creeping myself out. I think I will go comment on Ned’s blog so I can feel normal again.

      • At this moment I think I would like to work with a Hematologist. I have been dniealg with DVT issues of my own lately, and trying to get steady INR levels, and during all of this I have become really interested in blood. A hematologist diagnoses and treats disorders of the blood and blood-forming organs. I would also like to work in another specialty, reconstructive. I think that rebuilding a part of someones body is absolutely amazing! Not only can it help boost self esteem, but improve quality of life as well. Helping people become healthy, happy, and functioning would be such a rewarding career.I think that working with an oncologist would at the very bottom of my list. An oncologist diagnoses and treats tumors, both benign and malignant. Telling someone that they have cancer and knowing everything that comes with that diagnoses would be so hard for me to be a part of. I care about people very much and I really am very empathetic, so it would take a huge toll on me and every aspect of my life. I would rather help people feel better and know that they will be getting better for sure, in oncology you don’t always have that.

    • Wow. It gives one pause and renewed pepevsctire on life, sacrifice, and the ephemeral nature of it all to read these stories. I’m so glad we are to be able to share these things.

  5. Can you…could you…could you maybe possibly post your stories about the Baha Men? I think I’d want that more than the nudes. Not to, you know, be insulting. It’s just I’m always interested in the theories behind why “Who Let The Dogs Out” was written and, more importantly, where they have disappeared to.

    • YES! We’ll you’re in luck. I’ve got a guest blog all worked out and probably will post it next week – It’s a response letter from the Baha Men to John Stamos. It’s one of my favoritest ones that I’ve written. I know you said you weren’t as excited for the nudes, but I sent you one in your inbox anyhow. I’m a real gentleman like that. Cheers!

  6. It says you have 992 followers, which means 8 bastards left you just to spite you. Too bad you can’t block their turncoat asses. :-) Congrats. Wish I knew your secret.

    • Yes, well Libby dear. I am a fibber. I only had about 970 or so when I posted this, but perhaps it was arrogant of me. I don’t mean to be arrogant, but I had a sneaking suscpicion that I’d get to 1,000 and well, here we are. I’ve probably lost a few along the way. Not everyone has an appreciation for the word schlong, but you keep on keeping on, you know?

      As far as secrets, I’ve got a dirty one to tell. Mostly just randomly clicking people’s posts, which sounds awful, and it is. But I figured a few people could use a laugh in this world, and when people say things like “Hey, so glad you liked my post and I found you!” I just kept liking. Perhaps dirty, but well inteneded for those that like to laugh. Anyway, I’ll probably do a post on it at some point to help others out. A few other tips I’ve learned along the way…most of those articles that they have are pretty much bullshit I found out. So I’ll give it the Dimwit fibber honest truth, and maybe it will help some people out.

      Well, thanks as always for the nice comments. Much appreciated.

      – The dimwit

  7. Awwww Thanks for the shout out! You made my morning! you da best c-dawg! Thanks for being such a good friend! 👏👏👍👍😂😂😃😃😃and great blog post as always!

  8. I think you should have been on an Illustrated Wildlife Treasury card. Better yet, that picture should have been the iron on patch that came with the pail. It would add 15 points of awesome to any denim jacket.

  9. Okay, I couldn’t reply to your answer so I’m doing it this way. I don’t know what is going on with this computer…. ;(
    Here’s my reply… You’re very welcome. Love to see your Photoshop self wolf pop up (or something like that! I’m getting lazy too right now. Did too much work today. Not good for your health) ;)

  10. Okay, seriously now, who’d you blow?? A thousand follwers?? I’ve been at this crap for over two years and I don’t even have 100, and I blow like, everyone all the time!! Love ya!!!

  11. My Kindred Spirit, whom I love all the way to the moon – I’ve nominated you for a Sunshine Award. The details are on my recent blog post and if you are so inclined, you should participate! :)

  12. When I came here, it was 50, then 500 then straight to 1K. What! Wha? What’s te magic spell? This will be a reason I will leave Earth for Mars. -_- Cooooongrats!

  13. Holy Toledo, what a time for me to punch out for a few days. But what a terrrrrific surprise (wait, was that a lion picture or a tiger? I guess they both roll their r’s…). Thanks so much for the shout out, truly. Congrats on 1,000 (you know it’s only the beginning) — and I suddenly feel like I should have been more consoling about your Match.com profile….

  14. Pingback: Around the blogsphere | Completely Disappear

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